How old is TOO dayum old?
Aiight ya'll... I have been trying to be nice. I haven't doled out a B.D.I. (or Beat Down IOU, for ya'll newbies) in a long azz minute. But, I have stood all I can stand, and I CAN'T STANDS NO' MO!!!
Riddle me this... How old is TOO dayum old for a nukka to be wearing cornrows? I have seen this Charlie Wilson video a million times... (well, actually, I have only seen the first 5 seconds of his video a million times cause I turn it immediately...) But every time I see it... it drives me absolutely mothafukkin CRAZY that this mofugga has cornrows.
PHOTO MONTAGE OF YOUR OLD AZZ
If you are old enough to wear ANY of these styles... you are TOO dayum old for cornrows.
REALITY CHECK:
- You came out in the 70's with the Gap Band.
- Your first single came out the year I was born.
- You are well over 50.
- You are older than my momma.
- You are old enough to be the GRAND DADDY of children of the correct cornrow wearing age.
- You have more botox in your face than Joan Rivers.
**sidenote: if you are old enough to even CONSIDER botox... YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR CORNROWS** - And finally... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*doing the apollo get off the stage dance*
In his own words...
"I'm a young-end, high-end guy. [first of all, what the fukk does that mean?]I've been there and done what (today's artists) are going through," Wilson says. After his Gap Band heyday, he endured homelessness and overcame drug abuse. "But they're not calling me 'the old guy.' They're just calling me Uncle because I can still do what I do very well."
Huh? They are calling you 'Uncle' because 'The Godfather of Soul' is already taken by James Brown... and Ron Isley's old azz already got dibbs on 'Mr. Biggs.' And for the record... only Snoop Dog calls you 'Uncle.' The rest of us call you 'that mothafukka that is too dayum old to be wearing cornrows.'
CHARLIE WILSON... Where ever you are... for the offense of wearing cornrows at the age of 82 and a half...
YOU NEED YOUR AZZ BEAT!!!
The BDI patrol is looking for you.
WATCH OUT NUKKA!!
You are so right!!!!
Posted by: Wise&Young | September 24, 2005 at 01:58 PM
LOL!!!!! Sun, you are killing me with the comments!! I would have had more respect if he had just worn a nice little fade and some grown man clothes in that video. You really need to see the video (catch when he has on a doo-rag...gagging).
These men are acting worse than women when dealing with aging. Don't get me started on the old playa who tried to holla at me with a BALD SPOT in the middle of his cornrows.
Speaking of too damn old, Ron Isley aka Mr. Biggs just married a 28-year old (saw in JET about a week or two ago)in DARK ASS SHADES for the entire ceremony at the Beverly Hills Hotel!!! He was still wearing that greasy ulra-perm also. I heard that he was in trouble for cashing in his dead brother's royalty checks. I guess that is how he paid for the 14-carat diamond ring.
Posted by: Bgrits | September 24, 2005 at 05:53 PM
I can't even watch Charlie's ass without getting pissed off...R.Kelly done brought back so many mutherfuckas from the grave...it ain't even funny!!
Posted by: grar | September 25, 2005 at 12:28 AM
LOL, Charlie Wilson is a hot damn mess. An OLD hot mess.
Posted by: Fresh | September 25, 2005 at 12:26 PM
Hey! I really HATE Charlie Wilson....I just couldn't find the words to express my disgust! :) lol...you found them for me :)
Posted by: funkeedva | September 26, 2005 at 08:42 AM
I would respect him more if he had locs instead of cornrows. It's like he's trying to hard to appeal to the youth of today. Let your music stand for itself, no need to change your image.
Posted by: Nikki | September 26, 2005 at 11:22 AM
And the sad part about this is that Uncle Charlie is actually talented and really has no rhyme or reason to try to be dow. The Gap Band compilation CD is bangin though!
Posted by: Zeezy4Sheezy | September 26, 2005 at 01:12 PM
And the sad part about this is that Uncle Charlie is actually talented and really has no rhyme or reason to try to be dow. The Gap Band compilation CD is bangin though!
Posted by: Zeezy4Sheezy | September 26, 2005 at 01:13 PM
found your blog quite by accident and I am so glad I did. You's a funny one. I still can't believe this song is getting this much airplay....last name Wilson. Is you that lonely Unc? Here's my home number, cell, studio, mama, grandma...nobody's gonna look that hard for you and if they do - you best be worried.
Posted by: Hapee2bnapee | September 26, 2005 at 01:14 PM
Man...u took the words striaght outta my mouth!! :) I guess R. Kelly tryin to make all the old cooters into new skool old cooters...LOL
Posted by: aplomb | September 26, 2005 at 01:44 PM
Yeah man, First That damn Mr Biggs crap.. now uncle charlie..HUH?
Anything R-RA come in contact with gets tainted!Everytime Ron's Ghetto Opera shit came on Id get physically sick. These old ass niccas need to chill a lil bit. Im still tripping on that party train video when charlie wilson had on a damn metalic green speedo...*shudders*
Then Ron Isley's 60 something y/o ass marying that girl from JS....
Posted by: msjaim | September 26, 2005 at 08:13 PM
Love your blog. But WTF? You young people must think you invented cornrows. Puhlease! Cornrows been around a looong time.
Posted by: Anonymous | September 26, 2005 at 09:34 PM
I'm young (26)but I have to agree that cornrows have been around since slavery time !!!!lol
Posted by: | September 27, 2005 at 09:42 AM
I am not saying that young people invented cornrows... what I am saying is that cornrows are NOT age appropriate for anyone over 30... some that look younger can pull it off... but they are pushing it. And Mr. Wilson (I respect my elders... lol) is WAY above the age limit for cornrows.
My great aunt may have a great body still, but I would be mortified if she went out somewhere in a bra top and an ultra mini skirt... LOOK at that picture. That old man coulda borrowed that whole outfit from lil bow wow. 60 year olds and people that still use fake id's should NOT be able to swap gear.
Not a good look.
PSUN
Posted by: prodigal sun | September 27, 2005 at 11:17 AM
ok.... I may be the only one who thought he looked ok...he wasn't fooling nobody...he ass is old...but at least he still has hair...and not trying to cover a bald spot LOL
But what I'm really mad about is that I have all of those albums and still listen to them LOL
Posted by: DJ Diva | September 27, 2005 at 12:41 PM
What about the old men who still decide to rock corn rows WITH A DAMN BALD SPOT .. THEN they try to braid a lil bridge across the scalp to create the appearance of hair actually connecting... Just cut it off!
Posted by: msjaim | September 27, 2005 at 07:17 PM
Oh thank God!!!! I was beginning to think I was the only one who couldn't stand them damn thangs - especially on ole azz nukkaz!!
Posted by: Jazzy | September 27, 2005 at 09:38 PM
Prodigal Sun,
Again, I must respectfully disagree about cornrows on mature people. Dayum, we got naps, too. What are we supposed to do with them? I think an oldsters looks better with cornrows than a weave! Or an ugly wig like Puffy, er Diddy's mom.
Posted by: | September 27, 2005 at 09:47 PM
Anything but cornrow them.
Posted by: Jazzy | September 27, 2005 at 09:57 PM
Last comment on the hairstyle issue, and it is a practical one. If someone embraces natural hairstyling, and I think there are good reasons to do so, cornrows are a reasonable choice. Despite. Your. Age. Granted, cornrows with bald spots are going to look bad. But bald spots look bad with any style, IMO. Would you have the same opinion if it was an older woman with cornrows? Do you feel the same way about dreads? Just curious. And just how should an older person wear their hair? This is funny to me because I think there are some styles that skew young, but never thought of natural styles being one of them!
Posted by: | September 27, 2005 at 11:12 PM
And they're burned at the ends !!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Valentino | September 28, 2005 at 12:44 AM
Boy, u got me laughing my ass off at my job. Me and my peoples were just watching that video about a week ago cracking up. We were saying the same damn thing. He needs to cut them thangs off. He looks a M E Double S. Since we talking bout old ass singers from way back, how about Rene from Rene & Angela trying to come back out? I saw his damn video one night on BET's Midnight Love. He had his little thug look on(I guess) with a fitted and a wave cap on with a damn jersey and some AirOnes. I was too through. I loved your blog though, that was a good wake me up. Take care. KH
Posted by: Krystal | September 28, 2005 at 09:46 AM
For the record, the no-cornrows after 30 only applies to men. I think that women can wear their hair any way they please.
Natural styles are great. Anyone can wear locks, afros, twists at any age. And I might have even given Charlie a pass if he dressed like the grown azz man that he is. But look at that outfit up there on this post. *uggh*
That brotha that does the actors studio type stuff with the long locks and grey hair looks great. But if he had cornrows, I woulda dissed him too.
Cornrows just arent age appropriate after 30. Thats my opinion. Everyone is entitled. If you want to wear them after 30, go right ahead. Just be prepared to be added to the BDI list.
Posted by: prodigal sun | September 28, 2005 at 10:02 AM
AMEN AMEN AMEN...that man is too old to be wearing cornrows...and he need so to sing some age appropriate music. he too busy tryin to keep up with r kelly...who in my opinion is also tooooo old for cornrows.
Posted by: styleplusgrace | October 01, 2005 at 12:07 AM
im sorry but i took a second gander and he look like cassidy will probably look in about 20 years...and this guy has the nerve to have some fake hair added in...his cornrows arent even his real hair...i have a problem with him rockin the hair with the burnt ends...do better.
Posted by: styleplusgrace | October 01, 2005 at 12:11 AM