Aiight ya'll... I have been trying to be nice. I haven't doled out a B.D.I. (or Beat Down IOU, for ya'll newbies) in a long azz minute. But, I have stood all I can stand, and I CAN'T STANDS NO' MO!!!
Riddle me this... How old is TOO dayum old for a nukka to be wearing cornrows? I have seen this Charlie Wilson video a million times... (well, actually, I have only seen the first 5 seconds of his video a million times cause I turn it immediately...) But every time I see it... it drives me absolutely mothafukkin CRAZY that this mofugga has cornrows.
PHOTO MONTAGE OF YOUR OLD AZZ
If you are old enough to wear ANY of these styles... you are TOO dayum old for cornrows.
- You came out in the 70's with the Gap Band.
- Your first single came out the year I was born.
- You are well over 50.
- You are older than my momma.
- You are old enough to be the GRAND DADDY of children of the correct cornrow wearing age.
- You have more botox in your face than Joan Rivers.
**sidenote: if you are old enough to even CONSIDER botox... YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR CORNROWS**
- And finally... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*doing the apollo get off the stage dance*
In his own words...
"I'm a young-end, high-end guy. [first of all, what the fukk does that mean?]I've been there and done what (today's artists) are going through," Wilson says. After his Gap Band heyday, he endured homelessness and overcame drug abuse. "But they're not calling me 'the old guy.' They're just calling me Uncle because I can still do what I do very well."
Huh? They are calling you 'Uncle' because 'The Godfather of Soul' is already taken by James Brown... and Ron Isley's old azz already got dibbs on 'Mr. Biggs.' And for the record... only Snoop Dog calls you 'Uncle.' The rest of us call you 'that mothafukka that is too dayum old to be wearing cornrows.'
CHARLIE WILSON... Where ever you are... for the offense of wearing cornrows at the age of 82 and a half...
YOU NEED YOUR AZZ BEAT!!!
The BDI patrol is looking for you.
WATCH OUT NUKKA!!