I know its only March, but I am trying to get a jump on my abs this summer by hitting the gym hard now, so I dont have to kill myself in April when all the Johnny Come Lately's come and crowd the gym up trying to lose 50 pounds in a week.
Those of you who are my blog veterans (all three of you... including my brother...lol) you know that I have blogged about some annoying experiences at the gym. The elderly naked white men that love to walk around the locker room... the annoyingly-loud overly-amped gym rats who scream out their count of every rep, or every third line of the hip hop/rock song they are listening to... and the funky stinky sweaty foreign man who doesn't use deodorant or wipe off the machines when he's done with it.
Up until this point, all of my complaints have been with men. The women are always nice, polite and sweet. And they make the gym a prettier place. And my favorite thing is that they always smell good. When they pass, its always like a fresh wind in spring. And it counters the funk of the men.
So when this small petite woman stepped up on the treadmill beside me, I thought nothing of it... UNTIL the stench wafted in my nostrils. At first, I was like... what is that smell... something smells like PEE... and then I realized... IT WAS COMING FROM HER!!! And it was strong!
If I could just stand her stench for ten minutes, I would be fine. I couldnt let this stinky woman stand between me and my six pack this summer.
So my strategy was to stop breathing through my mouth, turn my head away to breathe less of her stench and to try not to scrunch my face the whole time. But then I noticed that when people walked by, they were scrunching their faces in the yukk face... THEN LOOKING AT ME!!! LIKE I WAS THE STINKY PEE POT!
I mean, it was logical since it was just her and I in the area of the stench. And her being the tiny petite pretty woman, she got the benefit of the doubt. Then my strategy went to pot. After holding my breath for a minute, I had to gasp for air, and got a mouth full of pissy air... and chocked and almost fell off the machine. That was when I decided to go back downstairs and finish elsewhere. I mean, I might have been able take the stench for a little while but I couldnt take being looked at like I smelled like pee when I know I smelled like Thierry Mugler's Angel Men... besides, I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Ilk.
So I left... finishing my work out downstairs. And I learned a valuable lesson.
STINKY GYM PEOPLE COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!
But never let that stand in the way of a work out... If you encounter unbearable funk, don't try to be a hero.
Just move.
(Stinky Pee Lady earned a beat down I.O.U. for not wiping herself completely after using the bathroom though... thats just nasty.)
You know what I hate? I hate it when someone doesn't wipe down the equipment after they've sweated all over it. I don't wanna come behind you on a machine full of sweat.
Posted by: Nikki | March 09, 2007 at 02:54 PM
This is too funny! I go to the gym on a regular. I can't stand it when someone that you haven't seen in a while wants to give you a hug! UGH! I don't want to hug you after you've been sweating and working out. That's just gross. I see people doing this all the time!
Posted by: kimmy | March 10, 2007 at 08:59 AM
Oh my...u didn't know about the pee...LMFAO!!!!
My momma always said that you are the first person that knows you stink. Not only do you smell it first...you also know whether you wiped your ass or not! HA...She was right....and don't think ms pissy pot didnt know it too. HA
Damn what a good laugh b4 churrch!....I'm a veteran....and i miss you bro..thanks for the the catchup u did the other day! Did a girl some good...
Posted by: djdiva | March 11, 2007 at 11:37 AM
Oh my...u didn't know about the pee...LMFAO!!!!
My momma always said that you are the first person that knows you stink. Not only do you smell it first...you also know whether you wiped your ass or not! HA...She was right....and don't think ms pissy pot didnt know it too. HA
Damn what a good laugh b4 churrch!....I'm a veteran....and i miss you bro..thanks for the the catchup u did the other day! Did a girl some good...
Posted by: djdiva | March 11, 2007 at 11:40 AM
aye yiyay...why do i always do that LOL
Posted by: djdiva | March 11, 2007 at 11:41 AM
(while pointing & laughing)
pee girl, pee girl, pee girl...
That's what you should have done!
nasties!
Posted by: shawnqt | March 12, 2007 at 09:19 AM
Man you start a whole blog just devoted to gym stories. I learned a while back that women (even cute tiny ones) can funk up a gym like no other. Once one even was on the treadmill next to me passing gas! I tried to deal with it for a minute, but that put too much of a strain on my work out.
Posted by: Will | March 12, 2007 at 11:45 AM
shame on you....maybe she has a colostomy bag..you know those things have a tendency to smell at certain times....or some other medical condition....you never know what someone is going through...i swear gay men are so shady and judgemental.
Posted by: yusef | March 12, 2007 at 12:24 PM
sooooo funny with the start of gym season im sure there will be more stories to tell
Posted by: C. Baptiste-Williams | March 14, 2007 at 03:36 PM
I feel you on the smelly cats at the gym. Not cool. I move. Even if I have to sacrifice my schedule and time and stay longer.
But my bigger pet peeve... newbies at the gym, who jump on equipment AS IF there's no line, get on a machine for 2 minutes and then jet, or who get on a machine, look at it and YOU for minutes and kinda expect you to show them how it works. I'm like... that's what gym orientation is for. To learn the rules and the equipment :-)
fs
Posted by: Frederick Smith | March 14, 2007 at 06:39 PM
I have to give a big AMEN to the funky people at the gym story! OMG! Why do people think that it is OK to walk around the gym smelly when they wouldn't go to the mall or to work that way? Most women are much better about this than men, but I've encountered some real stinkers and gas passers in my day--silent but deadly!! The worst offenders at the gym are the middle aged, overweight women who think the ab cruch bench is a chaise lounge. After waiting for one woman 10 minutes as she laid out on the bench listening to music, I WOKE HER UP and told her that she was being inconsiderate of the people who wanted to use the equipment. She had nerve to get an attitude as she rolled off the bench. Arrgh!!!!
Posted by: cmoney | March 15, 2007 at 09:25 AM
@yusef.....I think that was cold....I'm not a gay man...yet I also bitch about folks!....and if she had a colostomy bag...she'd be smelling like shit and not piss! Maybe you should have looked that up first!...also.....why the fukkk would she be running on a treadmill? Get over it dude!
Posted by: DJ Diva | March 16, 2007 at 10:06 AM
Posted by: Hdklfjsd | March 27, 2007 at 09:43 AM
HA!.. ABOUT 1.5 WEEKS AGO I WAS @ A BALLYS SPORTS CLUB NEAR MY HOUSE & THIS SISTER GOT ON THE TREAD MILL NEXT TO ME.. 1. WHEN SHE STOOD THERE i SMELLD "IT" AND THOUGHT OK, MAYBE I COULD IGNORE IT..2. I STARTED TO BREATH JUST THROUGH MY MOUTH WHILE I WAS RUNNING, & STARTED TO LITERALLY TASTE THE STENCH 3. THEN SHE GOT TO STRETCHING & PUT HER LEG UP ON THE RAIL.. I DAMN NEAR PASSED OUT. SHE SMELLED LIKE SHE HAD BEEN GETTING "TAGGED" ALL DAY & DIDNT WASH " HERSELF".. I MEAN.. SHE WAS RUNNING & HAD THE SPOT SMELLING LIKE "BADUSY".. I GOT OF THAT PIECE OF EQUIPMENT & MOVED ABOUT 4 TREADMILLS DOWN
Posted by: msjaim | April 10, 2007 at 05:32 PM
Just go to swimm babe! ;)
Posted by: nathalie | October 27, 2007 at 10:38 AM
Just go to swimm babe! ;)
Posted by: nathalie | October 27, 2007 at 10:38 AM
Well this is very normal because you going to the gym to sweat and this always bring bad odor so take a shower after and before the session and keep close you're desorant .
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