Ok... so I know I have been gone for a minute. (My last post was October 30th...) And I haven't posted because, well... after such a long pause, I felt like I needed to come back with a bang and talk about something deep. Like election night... holiday experiences or the inauguration (I went to DC)... but every time I thought to sit down to try to write something deep... time would get away from me, and another day would pass. Now three months later... what brings me back to blogging is not a matter of depth... its FRUSTRATION AT BEING IN THE SAME PREDICAMENT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AD NAUSEUM!!!!
ARRRRRGGGH! If you read my blog, you know that I have been trying to avoid having one of my friends stay at my apartment for months and months. And if you don't read my blog, you can read about it here(learning to say no), and here(the dreaded phone call). Well... during my blog absence in December, she got booted out of the place she was staying because of drama that wasn't her fault, and was forced to move her stuff out THAT day. Who do you think she called? That's clearly rhetorical because you already KNOW who she called in tears... and you know I don't do well with crying desperate people in need...
So, I caved, and went to help her move her stuff out. She has been in my guest room for the past two months. And I am over it.
First, I started noticing little bug bites on my body. And I was thinking it was mosquitos... turns out, there were flea issues on my couch... I DONT HAVE ANY PETS! Now I can't specifically blame it on her because they could have come from anywhere... but... I ain't have any flea issues before... and the girl she was staying with was a hood rat. What do you think?
Then... I thought the fleas were the only issue... then... I found a BED BUG on my bed, where she spends most of her time watching TV. Again, I can't specifically blame her for that, but... I NEVER HAD BED BUGS BEFORE!!!
I freaked out SOOOOO badly that I threw my mattress and boxspring out on the roof and didn't even want them in my house at like 4am. I have fumigated twice, sprayed heavy duty bug spray all around my house, threw out a bunch of bedding and all my pillows, and washed every single article of clothing I own... then on top of that, sprayed everything else I couldn't throw out. I haven't slept in my room in 2 weeks...
And then... on top of all of that, I just hate having someone in my house... and its all these stupid little things that I would dismiss if she were just visiting... like... watching tv in my room and falling asleep in my bed. If we ain't fukkin, GET THE FUKK OUT MY BED! Or falling asleep with the TV on... if you ain't paying my con ed, you need to turn my shyt off the MINUTE your head knods the first time! Or using my body wash... or eating food I prepared for later... I hate going to get something and it not being there... or not putting the garbage bags in the can properly... you are a grown azz woman... you see how the bag is in there when you took the full bag out... but you can't figure out how to put a new one in? ugh.
I am trying to give her time to get herself situated. She is starting her own business and is literally broke... but for real, we are all grown. If I needed to stay somewhere for more than a week, it would be with my family. I would not impose on my friends like that.
But she is broke... and has no place to go... and as aggravated as I am having my personal space invaded by yet ANOTHER extended stay by one of my needy friends... my conscience won't let me do what I want which is tell her to find some place else to stay because I am worn out...
So I will just vent here... because I am frustrated... and aggravated, because... I am a bleeding heart and way too empathetic.
Sometimes I wish I weren't so... nice. I am just hoping I don't snap and flip out and ruin our friendship... which is a very real possibility... Pray for me.
Hi! missed you!
So if she is broke -I am assuming she is not contributing anything at all? If you are footing the bills for her then that may really be whats ticking you off -and the other things PUSHED YOU OVER THE EDGE! Can she get a temp job while starting her business? or county assistance?
On the stuff gonig on @ home -write a list and call a meeting for each thing write the prob and have her write the solution as you tell her -heck draw a picture!so she can look back later -like the garbage bags -tell her how to do it and tell her the magnitude of your irritation by these things and apologize(even if you dont feel you should- you catch more flies with honey than vinegar) for not telling her sooner (or for anything else you think she will believe -takes the edge off) -and if she needs to stay there you MUST BE ABLE TO STAND IT!
I can truly feel your disdain in your writing and your frustrations I hope you find a solution-and soon;)
Posted by: mz ann | January 26, 2009 at 11:29 AM
just an insect comment.....ortho max home defense spray ...can be found at walmart. home depot and stores along those lines......it's suppose to kill all types of bugs and fleas and can be used periodically as a preventive agent...which is what we use it as ...my father has 2 large dogss and he use the ortho home defense max granules in his yard ( to prevent ) and we have NEVER seen fleas or bugs on them ....but they have the spray for your homeas well and I have heard from pet owners that had flea incidents in their homes that this worked...they also say borax works....hope that every aspect of your situation improves
Posted by: chelle | January 26, 2009 at 04:28 PM
thanks ladies...
Mz Ann... I missed blogging too... I just need to carve time out for myself and keep my sanity sometimes... blogging helps me do that and it helps me reason through my thoughts and make decisions... my houseguest and I had a discussion yesterday and I mentioned a few of the issues... so some steam was let out. (plus I cleaned up my house, which helps me calm down when I am aggravated... lol)
And Chelle... Thanks. I am ON it! lol I had that ortho max home defense the NEXT day! lol I sprayed my entire house... And I am continuing to use the dust mite/flea spray on my couch every other day just in case there are some lingering eggs that want to hatch despite the bug bomb that is supposed to inhibit hatching for a year... I ain't taking ANY chances. I hate bugs... but biting bugs are even worse...
Posted by: Psun | January 26, 2009 at 06:35 PM
Hi! I heard that EcoPco DX Dust is good. After you put that on your mattress enclose your mattress in a bed bag and keep it closed for awhile since bed bugs can live without food for a long time! Hope this is some help to you!
On another note....YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND! I think I would have popped the piss out of her! LOL!
Posted by: Michelle | January 27, 2009 at 02:01 PM
Glad you are back man!
I read your blog on a regular basis but stopped reading because you stopped blogging..LoL.
I can feel your pain with this one man because I am currently staying with my best friend in Atlanta as a guest; however, a guy I was "sorta" dating got evicted out of his place and is here with us.
He has been here for a month and it is driving my best friend nuts! He is not really looking for a job but has time to audition for Sunday Best in three different cities!!
Also, he has brought guys that were interested in dating him over a couple of time. I got upset and almost made a scene one time. Then when I reminded myself that we are not together and started bringin guys over he got upset and did not speak to me for almost FOUR DAYS...LoL.
I recently got a job, and I am moving into my own spot in about a week! He mentioned going home a long time ago, but I really dont think he wants to go. Why? If he wanted to go home he would have left a long time ago.
I have no problem with someone puruing their dream but at 35 you need to have a job to support yourself while pursuing that dream ya know...LoL.
The fact that I still care about him makes things that much more difficult. I refuse to take care of a grown man espcially when he is four years older than me!
Drama, Drama, Drama...LoL
Posted by: Derick | January 29, 2009 at 01:58 AM
I'm just glad that you're back. Had a sista worrying and shit.
Posted by: Nikki | February 02, 2009 at 10:54 AM
I hope ur friend has gotten back on her feet and ur not tearing ur hair out...lol...I was rolling with laughter wen i read ur post..i know exactly how that feels...had a friend stay with me for a while my beau and I cudnt get any alone time...since we wer intro doing it al over teh house, the kitchen and living room became off limits, talk about vibes kill... Anyway since I am late in joinin this siesta put up some current stuff so i can drop my 2 cents.
nuff love from jamaica
Posted by: Denneille | June 20, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Hey, I'm glad that you're back. I'll keep you posted.
Kevin
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