I know its only March, but I am trying to get a jump on my abs this summer by hitting the gym hard now, so I dont have to kill myself in April when all the Johnny Come Lately's come and crowd the gym up trying to lose 50 pounds in a week.
Those of you who are my blog veterans (all three of you... including my brother...lol) you know that I have blogged about some annoying experiences at the gym. The elderly naked white men that love to walk around the locker room... the annoyingly-loud overly-amped gym rats who scream out their count of every rep, or every third line of the hip hop/rock song they are listening to... and the funky stinky sweaty foreign man who doesn't use deodorant or wipe off the machines when he's done with it.
Up until this point, all of my complaints have been with men. The women are always nice, polite and sweet. And they make the gym a prettier place. And my favorite thing is that they always smell good. When they pass, its always like a fresh wind in spring. And it counters the funk of the men.
So when this small petite woman stepped up on the treadmill beside me, I thought nothing of it... UNTIL the stench wafted in my nostrils. At first, I was like... what is that smell... something smells like PEE... and then I realized... IT WAS COMING FROM HER!!! And it was strong!
If I could just stand her stench for ten minutes, I would be fine. I couldnt let this stinky woman stand between me and my six pack this summer.
So my strategy was to stop breathing through my mouth, turn my head away to breathe less of her stench and to try not to scrunch my face the whole time. But then I noticed that when people walked by, they were scrunching their faces in the yukk face... THEN LOOKING AT ME!!! LIKE I WAS THE STINKY PEE POT!
I mean, it was logical since it was just her and I in the area of the stench. And her being the tiny petite pretty woman, she got the benefit of the doubt. Then my strategy went to pot. After holding my breath for a minute, I had to gasp for air, and got a mouth full of pissy air... and chocked and almost fell off the machine. That was when I decided to go back downstairs and finish elsewhere. I mean, I might have been able take the stench for a little while but I couldnt take being looked at like I smelled like pee when I know I smelled like Thierry Mugler's Angel Men... besides, I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Ilk.
So I left... finishing my work out downstairs. And I learned a valuable lesson.
STINKY GYM PEOPLE COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!
But never let that stand in the way of a work out... If you encounter unbearable funk, don't try to be a hero.
Just move.
(Stinky Pee Lady earned a beat down I.O.U. for not wiping herself completely after using the bathroom though... thats just nasty.)
Recent Comments