A Black Man's Pride

Its been a minute since I have blogged. I had something weighing heavy on my mind but I wasn't sure if it would be too heavy to share, or too long to read for a blog... but decided to share it anyway. If you came looking for humor, you can bounce now and come back tomorrow or the next day...

The other day, as I walked to the subway station on 145th street, I couldn't help but notice a loud spectacle. A tall young brotha with an afro, in a hoodie and jeans was having a loud argument with two women. He was probably about 6'4", and clearly much larger than them, but he was backed up against the wall as the two women yelled and screamed in his face at the top of their lungs. What made me stop in my tracks wasn't so much the argument, but that there were FOUR policemen (three men and a woman) standing maybe four feet away watching and looking ready to intervene.

I stopped because I knew where this was headed if it wasn't played out carefully. The tall brother began to yell back, which caused more yelling by the women. Seeming frustrated and exacerbated, the tall brother yelled, 'I didn't disrespect any of ya'll, get out of my face', pushed his way past the women and started walking away from the dispute past the police.

I thought to myself, good, remove yourself from the situation, bruh. That is the best move. The police are WAITING for you to fukk up. As I turned to leave, the only black officer of the bunch stepped in front of the tall young man who was still yelling as he walked away, and within a blink of an eye, it had now become a tussle with the four officers.

Basically, the officer said something about calming down and stop yelling, and the dude didn't acquiesce fast enough and the officer grabbed his arm. The dude reacted by shrugging off the officer and still trying to walk away and the four police swarmed him. This all happened in like five seconds.

It went down hill from there. The brother was now yelling, "What?!! I didn't do nothing! What are ya'll arresting me for?! I didn't do nothing!", and wouldn't surrender as they tried to push him against the wall and cuff him. All three male officers got involved as the female officer blocked the women and played crowd control. Two grabbed his arms, the third pulled his legs from under him, and he fell forward, hitting his head and scraping his face along the concrete wall on his way down.

As I witnessed the scene, my stomach was churning. A crowd had gathered and we are all randomly screaming, What did he do? He didn't do anything! This is bullshyt! The female cop is looking at us with a look of understanding, trying to calm the crowd, but not turning to the cops and saying, CALM DOWN! THIS ISN'T NECESSARY! And NOW, the women who were screaming at the tall young man were pleading 'Please, let him go! He didn't do anything!' But by then it was too late.

The struggle went on for about 5 or 10 minutes. The tall young man was strong as a bull and would not submit. He was adamant about his obvious innocence. He put his hands up right away as if to say, I AM NOT ARMED! But he resisted getting against the wall as the cops pushed and shoved at him. He resisted putting his hands down to be cuffed. He resisted being shoved into the police car.

In my head I was thinking... dude, just relax. Fall back and this will be over in a minute and you can go about your business. I know you got pride dude, but let it go for a minute and 'cooperate'.

Then I heard myself... and I thought, 'wow, did I just say that?' Why should he have to sacrifice his pride to appease the officers when he didn't commit any crime? He was trying to walk away. Why do we as Black men always have to sacrifice our manhood and humble ourselves to pacify police officers who are harassing us? And why am I so brainwashed to believe that we should have to bow down in order to get by? I felt like the house Negro telling the field slaves not to revolt because 'we got it good here.' I felt like an old southern black man telling his younger northern relative not to sass a white person in the Pre-Civil Rights south.

He didn't do anything wrong. And when the situation didn't create enough reason for the officers to use their handcuffs, they created one because he didn't bow down to them.

Through out our entire experience in this country, Black men aren't allowed to have pride. In pre-Civil Rights Jim Crow times, Black men had to humble themselves to all white people. They had to respond with 'yes, sir' or 'no, sir' when a white child called a grown man 'boy'. We were trained to stay in our place, and to never buck up. Just the thought of looking at a white woman funny was enough reason to justify the gruesome murder of 14 year old Emmet Till. I won't even get into the atrocities of slavery... some of ya'll are too young to remember Roots... but I remember it. I wasn't even 5 years old, but I remember a man being whipped because he would not allow his white master to change his name from Kunta, his African name, to Toby. I couldn't understand it then...  but I do now.

The only difference in the treatment of Black men today is the absence of legal lynching. But then, I am not even sure about that when I think about Sean Bell or Amadou Diallo. They were both unarmed Black men who'd committed no crime, but were shot a ridiculous number of times... and the men who shot them have walked away unscathed (or probably will). Doesn't seem too different from the past to me.

As I stood there watching, I felt as helpless as the young man in handcuffs. We all argued in his defense... until they drove off with him in their cruiser. I stood there free... but still feeling imprisoned, knowing that this could have easily happened to me or any other proud Black man. Black men have been robbed of their Pride and Manhood from the moment the first slave was captured and put on a slave ship. And we are still fighting to regain it til this day.

Times may have changed, but so much remains the same. The color we fear is no longer only white, it now includes the blue color of the police uniform. When a cop car pulls up behind us in our cars... we tense up. I know I do, and every brother reading this does too. We know we aren't doing anything wrong, but we still get nervous. If we see cops on the streets and the cops looks at us, we look away, hoping not to fit some random 'description.' That mentality Black men had back in the day of humbling themselves just to get along is still alive and well today. Hell, even I am guilty of it. An educated black man with advanced degrees. I realize that when cops see me, they see another crime waiting to happen, regardless of my education, or my clear record.

Witnessing this incident made me sick to my stomach. I know that this young Black man was not guilty of any crime. His only offense was having pride. And for a Black man in this country... having pride is a crime. It always has been... and until we all realize that this is an issue and wake up and do something about it other than accepting it... it always will be.

Comments

[kristen]

damn reading this post brought up so many things in my mind that I can barely sort through them. By now i am not even shocked that this Black man was treated this way. it just hurts me that he can be so humiliated for being Black and having pride (as you mentioned).

one note: i find it interesting that the only black officer there was the one that caused the problem with the young man. was he trying to prove that his blue uniform overwhelmed that of his black skin ? or did the white cops want him to "prove" he was really one of the "boys in blue" by instigating this incident? we may never know, but this just proves that the only colors that count in this country are white and blue.

thank you for writing about this incident. this is your blog and i am glad you decided to do so for yourself, that gentleman and his family and for everyone else who wants to forget that we live in Amerikkka.

kristen

[Stone]

I had a conversation the other day about how we as black men are in so many cases the victim of police brutality. Its amazing how they waited to set him up. I told the dude until we start specking up it will continue.Do we need a revaluation? I say yes, in our minds first. Thanks for sharing this.

[Tee]

Just reading this post has so many things running through my mind yet all i can manage to voice are two words along with a shake of the head "Damn" and "wow"
as much as i try to believe we as black people are getting somewhere something always reminds me that "even if we in a benz we still a nigger in a coupe"
i'll just continue to stay prayed up and say stay up my brother

[Donovan]

Situation like this are all too common here in Atlanta. There is a struggle between the young educated Blacks here and the old White racists. I have friends who get pulled over because they have Morehouse or Spelman decals on their cars. The image that is attatched to our schools is really resented by the locals and because most of us are from the north we're warned of that during orientation.

[KC]

Wow!1 I "lurk" through a lot of blogs and yours is a favorite of mine. Witty, sarcastic, funny, familiar, insightful are things that come to mind when I read it.

This post is all too familiar to me, because I currently live in the south. Even though incidents like this happen all over, I have never seen an abundant amount of these situations so openly displayed. For real, the world is really afraid of an educated, articulate, confident black man who is not ashamed of his "blackness" and who does not try to hide it in hopes of being accepted by whites.

I have been racially profiled a lot and have come out unscathed. I thank God for it because I did get "smart-mouthed" in a few situations with no repercussions. Being, originally from the North and now living in the South (Texas of all places), I have been told that I have a very "Northern attitude" because I speak up on injustices and things that are not right. Hell, I've been that way since I was a little kid. I have even been called a "Yankee". Who in hell still uses that term.

Nonetheless, I can really tell by your post that it really "shook" you. It shook me and I did not witness it, but it is still an all too familiar scenario. I stay prayerful not only for myself but others that they do not lose sight of who they are and why they are. As Black people we are the objects of every one's desire as well as their hatred. Why, I do not know. Nevertheless, in the immortal words of James Brown, "I am Black and I am Proud!!!"

[Cocoa Rican]

I honestly got chills...mainly because it's as though I was standing there...then again, we probably were... well, we have been standing there were you were. What do we do about it? Did you go to the police station to file a complaint? Did the crowd shouting his innocence unite to support the brotha at the stationhouse? Maybe, just maybe, our lack of regard for each other trickles to the lack of regard others show us. ...or maybe it's just my incensed sense of repressed anger that's lashing out.... I probably would have your reaction as well.

[Nikki]

As the more things change, the more things still stay the same. Awful situation.

[Apollo]

If this incident moved you enough you should see if you could call the station and see what happened to the guy. Maybe you're statements could help him if he did wind up in any trouble. (Just a suggestion though)

[SHAWNQT]

Hey, let me ask this question?
What do you think Jesus would do if he was in same situation as this black man?

[psun]

Your question is rhetorical because Jesus endured far more. But are you saying that Black men shouldn't have pride? That we should accept such treatment?

If someone is striking us, and we block ourselves from the blows is that wrong? By your logic, it might because Jesus would turn the other cheek for another blow...

Simply because our actions may differ from how Christ would react in certain situation, it does not mean that what we are doing is wrong.

[Toi]

This is such a powerful blog. Thanks for sharing. It really touched a nerve and ignited a conversation amongst my friends. Interestingly enough, some white male friends were complaining about an almost exact situation that happened to them the other day, but they didn't see it as a black and white thing (because all parties involved where white); they saw it as an infraction on their civil rights and another indicator of an increasingly aggressive police state. Interesting how our experiences or realities manipulate our perceptions.

[Colored Girl]

Ok, I'm a little late, almost 3 years. Just surfing the web about a black man and his pride, happened upon your blog. Everything that happened was wrong, bad, and all of that. But as a man thinketh, so he is. Seems to me that because black men have this belief that society or the world doesn't want them to have pride, they fight with people for the sake of their pride, when many times they are fighting the wrong fight. Lest someone mistake, let me clear this up - I'm not talking about a brotha standing up to the police. I'm talking about a brotha and his pride fucking up his marriage. From a sistah to a brotha, I love my black man and believe heavilly in the sanctity of marriage. But For All the Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuff, I'm tired of fighting with that brotha. I love him, plain and simple, but his fucking pride is gonna make us a statistic. His pride wont' let him eat a slice of humble pie and say fuck it, let's just do this damn thing and keep it movin. No, his pride gets in the way. Sometimes, black man, it ain't worth it. I'm tired of arguing about petty shit, I drink you don't, I like to dance, you don't, I'm an intellectual, you're a logistical engineer; but we both love the Lord, we love each other and we love making love to each other. What the fuck is the problem?

[Brea]

Psun, I know I am a little behind the 8 ball here, and I'm not even sure if you are still around and blogging.


I happened across your blog, purely by chance this morning, and I have now spent the better part of 5 hours reading about your thoughts and feelings on many subjects.


I find you... insightful, intelligent, and caring; and I have enjoyed myself thoroughly reading about your trials and tribulations.


I find myself hoping for only good things for you.


Having said that... I felt an OVERWHELMING NEED to comment on this post.


You made me cry. Not just tear up... I actually sobbed at the treatment that young man was subjected to.


Nothing has affected me so deeply since I gave birth and saw my beautiful daughter for the first time.


I hope this admission doesn't have the opposite effect and make me seem shallow. I'm not. I'm just trying to say that the injustice of the event you described resonated in a very real way.


Thank you for bringing it to light and not simply sitting on it.


It needed to be told, if only for your own piece of mind.


Brea

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