The Prodigal Sun

Watching a train wreck in slow motion...

Have you ever had to watch one of your close friends date someone you knew was bad for them... but tried to be supportive because they were 'in love' with this person? I have been trying... and trying to be supportive for the past year of one of my female friends relationships... but I just can't do it anymore.

From the moment they met a year ago, they have not gone through a single solitary week without a ridiculous dramatic screaming match argument. For real, they can't go 7 days without yelling and screaming like they are on Jerry Springer... WHAT THE FUKK ARE YOU ARGUING ABOUT IN THE FIRST WEEK? WHY ARE YOU STILL DATING IF YOU FIGHT LIKE THAT THE FIRST WEEK? They argue about everything from serious stuff to chicken... no, really, one fight was literally about chicken.

But for some odd reason, she pursued a relationship with this dude. A couple of months later... she moves out of state to be with this dude. No job, no apartment... goes and lives with this dude she can't get through a week without screaming at. No, really. I didn't get it either. I advised her against it. I said just get a job first... get your own place... date for a minute. What's the rush? But, she did it anyway.

As the months pass, the fights continue... she is kicked out a few times, because after all, it was HIS place, not hers or theirs. One time it was so extreme she called one of our mutual friends to come get her because she was locked out and walking in the pouring rain with no where to go. And despite all this... I tried to be supportive. When she called I would try to be impartial. Its her life, she has to make her own conclusions. So I never pushed for her to leave him or interfered with their relationship at all.

She was told that she could not be friends with any of her exes, two of which are our close friends. She complied, and called and told both that she was in a relationship and can't talk or associate with them anymore... then dude got upset with her and told her that she wasn't supposed to call them... she was supposed to just ignore them and not talk to them at all. So despite her compliance and cutting off good friends, the manner in which she did it was still wrong, so it STILL led to an argument.

I get semi-monthly calls to say 'it's over'... some of them tearful... some are mid argument and I can hear dude in the background screaming at her, and her screaming back at him in my ear... and now I am to the point where, I know that no matter what I say, or how upset she is, that after a few hours and her blood cools, she will go back and try to work it out. So... we kinda have a routine. She calls upset talking about its over, dude comes up screaming... I say, why don't you handle that there and call me later... usually I don't hear anything from her for days and I have to call and check on her. And she is like... oh yeah, I am good, and explains that they worked it out and how their problem is communication, or miscommunication... or how they have come to some new understanding... or how they are going to get counseling... or how they are only going to send each other text messages when they are upset so that the arguments don't escalate into screaming matches... there is always some new fandangled approach. (Does this sound ludicrous to any of you too?)

If you have been married 35 years... ok... I would get it. Do what you need to do to stay together. You have a serious time investment. But... after barely a year, when you were fighting like this from the jump? FIGHTING IS THE RELATIONSHIP! What are you fighting to save?

And when I tell ya'll... this is only the surface shyt... I am not even getting into some other shyt that makes my blood boil. Before ya'll ask, no she has never been beaten... so while this seems so battered wife syndrome... she is not battered. (altho abuse can be mental, and that is definitely the case here...) 

During the past 8 months she has been living with him, she got a new great job. And just this month, they moved into a new apartment with BOTH of them on the lease... The last time I was with them, an argument broke out and she ended up crying herself to sleep in the living room with us, while he slept soundly in the master suite. Well... at least she wasn't outside in the rain.

I don't want my friend to feel like she can't come to me. But at this point... I can't fake supportive anymore. It's like watching a friend get hit by a train in slow motion. You see her on the track, and you see the train coming... but despite your screaming and yelling, she doesn't move. Until she realizes her own value and self worth, the train doesn't exist to her. She will not see the train.

I can only pray that she will come to her senses... and see it before it's too late.

WAAAAAAAAAKE UP!!!

The state of our country scares the shyt out of me. I have said this before, and I will say it again. America is living on past glory, and if we don't do something DRASTIC soon, we will become a third world country. Gas and food is becoming unaffordable... people are losing their homes and defaulting in record numbers, and now wall street is buckling...

The bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, a major financial firm that has been around since BEFORE the Civil War... and the sale of Merryl Lynch to Bank of America on the same day is serious sign of our country's dire financial status. These companies survived world wars, natural disasters, 9/11...

But what they can't survive is DUMB AZZ SMALL TOWN AMERICA!

Thats right! I said it. Middle America is STUPID!

Everyone is pandering to the small town Americans, and really, I think that THEY are the ones to blame for the decline of America. And I am going to tell you why...

They elect people based on their perceived character rather than their position or actions on issues that affect the entire country's well-being. (Actions ILLUSTRATE character... not a stupid speech!)

Middle Americans are racist and ignorant. They think its ok to say that they are ignorant because they are from a small town. Its a license to say racist or offensive things... 

Middle Americans bought into this stupid war against Terrorism. (How do you fight a CONCEPT?! Wars are fought against defined opponents. Not an idea... not a single person like Bin Laden... And there is supposed to be a clearly defined metrix for success... without which, the war NEVER ends.) Middle America bought into the whole idea that if you don't support the war, we must hate America.

Small town americans idolize this 1950's white picket fence mentality which even THEY fail to live up to it. (Sarah Palin with her teen-aged pregnant unmarried daughter...) This 'common sense values' bullshyt is forcing our government to legislate based on religious beliefs when our country was built on the DIVISION between church and state.

Our focus SHOULD be on things that prepare us for the future. Our focus should have been on being green DECADES ago, or regulating our financial industry to prevent things like we are experiencing now. But NO... we are arguing irrelevant issues like... gay marriage. Who cares if two women/men want to get hitched? WHY IS THAT A NATIONAL ISSUE TRUMPING OUR ECONOMY? TRUMPING A SENSELESS WAR? TRUMPING ISSUES THAT WILL KEEP US RELEVANT IN A GLOBAL ECONOMY? I will tell you why, because small town America IS STUPID!

I know what you are thinking... middle America may be stupid but what does that have to do with the failure of our financial system... And to you guys... I have just one thing to say...

MIDDLE AMERICANS ELECTED GEORGE W. BUSH!

TWICE!!!

They elected a president based on his views on same sex marriage... despite the horrible first four years. Because of THEM, we were subject to 8 years of bad government, both in the top office and in legislation where republicans had control for many of those years.

AND NOW they are humoring this ridiculous McCain, Palin ticket... Someone who says 'I don't know' more than my four year old nephew, and a mayor of east bumble cookie Alaska, who clowns Barrack's community service prior to his federal government tenure, but talks about how she ran a city in Alaska like it's REAL experience... as if its even remotely relevant...

Middle Americans are like sheep. They blindly follow whatever the Republicans say without question. So many contradictions and false statements have come out of the Republican candidates that its amazing to me that they are nearly tied with the Democrats in the polls...

What scares me about this whole financial situation is that it is the result of Dumb Ass George Bush who was elected by Dumb Ass Middle America. And the very possibility of it happening again with McCain almost makes me want to move to Canada.

But I can't. Becuase despite its flaws, I still believe this is the BEST country in the world. I love my home and I want it to STAY on top. I don't want to live anywhere else in the world (until I retire or something... but that is more about living in the tropics like a king than the nation itself... but I digress)

Middle America needs to accept that THIS IS NO LONGER 1950's AMERICA! This is a NEW AMERICA. One that is diverse, and changing... If we want to stay at the top of the heap, we have to WORK and EVOLVE with the rest of the world. And we can't do that stuck in the past.

Middle America... I beg you... please...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE UP!!!

Before it's too late...

Usher's Ladies Night, Every Night...

Usher recently announced that he is planning an intimate 15-city, Ladies-Only Tour to promote his latest album, Here I Stand.

"There's only a few artists that can pull that off," he said. "I feel like I've had such a connection with my audience. This album, I felt like, was definitely the type of one that was more intimate. So what better way to get up close and personal than to make it all women?"

Usher says he wants to prove that he is a family man AND a sex symbol. By having this tour called 'One Night Stand'...?

*blank stare*

This is stupid on soooooo many levels.

He is smelling himself too much and his record sales DON'T justify it. He is living off of past glory.

And the women only thing was attempted already by Tank, Tyrese and Ginuine, and it BOMBED miserably. When your records are not selling like they used to, you need to collect EVERY dollar that people are willing to give to you, which includes men.

Then there are the logistics... how is he going to restrict it to women? Ticketmaster does not screen by sex, and even if they did... how could you prevent folks from lying?

What about the fellas who aren't even Usher fans but who would take their girls to see him?

This is stupid and career suicide if it goes wrong. Too risky. A failed album AND a failed tour when you are trying to make a 'come back' would turn this into a cautionary tale of how NOT to become a 'has-been'.

Usher is becoming whacker by the day. He needs his momma to step back in and handle the bidness cause he is a dumbass.

Even though I have never been interested in seeing Usher live... I hate being told I CAN'T do something... lol I still don't want to go... but its about the PRINCIPALITIES SMOKEY!!! lol

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye...

What the hell is wrong with Kanye West? Did you guys see his tirade backstage after he lost? If not, check it out below.

Kanye is the worst loser I have ever known in my entire life. I mean, dayum, you lost. Get over it. You are an international celebrity. You have sold millions of albums. So the fukk what if you dont win a 'moonman'?

I am certain that Kanye was the kid in his hood who was forever screaming 'Do Over! Do Over! I wasn't ready...' or 'That's not fair, he cheated' or anything else you can think of to represent the sore loser who had an excuse for everything that didnt go his way. He was that little kid in the grocery store that was throwing himself on the floor because his mom wouldnt buy him a candybar that we all wanted to STOMP right there on the floor, then smack him again to 'give him something to cry about.'

Ya'll know I was never really a fan of Kanye and his mouth and his opinions about everything (see this post) But just when I start to appreciate Kanye's 'say whatever the fukk he wants' nature, he flips out and reminds me of why I want him to SHUT THE FUKK UP!

For being a sore azz loser and sounding like he is getting ready to cry cause he lost a stupid MTV award, Kanye has earned yet another BEAT DOWN I.O.U. Cause he needs his azz beat for that bullshyt. Man up and deal with it. I want to slap him AND his momma... cause she ain't raise him right! lol

Lindsay Lohan

I don't normally care about the goings-on of the Lindsay Lohan's and Paris Hilton's of the world. Not that I have anything against spoiled rich little white girls (some of my best friends are... umm... nah, I don't know any, let me stop lying... lol) On second thought, maybe I do have something against them. I don't understand them at all.

For those of you who don't know, Lindsay was just arrested for drunk driving, while her license was suspended for her last DUI offense, AAAAAAAND when they searched her at the station, she had cocaine in her pocket!!!! (yeah, and she just got out of rehab too...)

If you have millions and millions of dollars in the bank, and you have a suspended license, why can't you hire a driver? I mean, you can pay them a salary which is chump change to you, and they can double as your bodyguard. They can speed around, and take all the risks, and you can be just as drunk and coked out as you want in the backseat.

What I especially don't get is... how do you jeopardize all that you have for such nonsense. Because of this arrest, she is not going to be able to promote her new movie, I Know Who Killed Me, and is supposedly going to MISS THE PREMIERE TOMORROW!! Isn't that crazy?! Your dumb azz is jeopardizing the success of a major motion picture and millions of dollars of the studio's investment with your dumb azz antics? Who is going to want to risk investing in you after this?

Sometimes I wonder whats up with the universe that fame and wealth happens to idiots like that, instead of others who bust their asses and would appreciate the opportunities bestowed upon them. Then I remember... she is only 21. We were all idiots at 21.

Nah, fukk that, I wasn't THAT dumb at 21. She is just a dumb bitch. lol

Rappers and guns

Ja Rule and Lil Wayne were both arrested on Sunday for gun possession in two separate incidents.

Ja Rule and two others were speeding on the west side highway here in NYC, got pulled over and they found .40 caliber gun in the car.

Lil Wayne and his homey were walking down the street smoking weed, got stopped by police and they found that Lil Wayne had a .40 caliber gun in his possesion. (guess that is the gun of choice among rappers...)

First of all... Are the lives of rappers really in that much danger all the time? And if so, why not have a registered gun? Or better yet, body guards...? Maybe Remy Ma shot her girl with her hip hop issued .40 caliber gun? Apparently, every rapper has one...

Second of all, who in the hell is checking for Ja Rule? That nigga aint had a hit since 1982. Why does he have or even need a gun? Boo. (And what is up with that Adolph Hilter crap on his top lip? Double Booo!)

And Lil Wayne... why the hell was he walking down the street smoking weed AND toting a gun? I mean, dayum... how stupid is that? Uggghhh... Both of these negros need Beat Down IOU's for this nonsense. My black people, we gotta do better.

(How much you wanna bet that Baby went and bailed him out.... lol)

BET Award Show... unanswered questions...

It was cool to see J-Hud and J-Hol together on stage, but by the end... weren't you tired of the runs? I was worn out.

Was it me... or did Monique look like a big woman, doing an impersonation of a big man, doing a female impersonation of Beyonce during that Beyonce Tribute? I love Monique, and she usually looks beautiful to me... but this show, she was very drag-a-licious.

Were you as tired of the big girl dancing to Beyonce bit as I was while I watched it? I mean, it was hot the first time, but it's been done. I felt like I was watching a VHS tape of last year...

Did Chaka Khan forget the words during her performance? Ummm... didnt she just recently say that she stopped doing drugs and stuff? I am not convinced.

Was that the best Diana Ross tribute they could come up with? It probably looked good on paper...but it didnt translate. Erykah Badu, Chaka Khan, Stevie Wonder... yeah, thats what I think when I think Diana Ross...

Doesn't Diana Ross's Daughter Chutney (sp?) look like a rat?

Did you ever realize how similar Erykah Badu's voice was to Diana's until this performance? I thought her tribute was the best part. Stevie was great, but it seemed so random. Why not have all the girl groups that are big do a tribute? Why not have Beyonce do it? I mean... she is reliving the Diana Ross story in real life, right?

Public Enemy for a James Brown tribute? Why not have bits and pieces of ALL the musical genres that James Brown influenced. Pop artists, R&B artists and Hip Hop artists... that tribute was blah.

Was Michelle really relegated to being a back up dancer for Beyonce now? Is that the best gig she can get nowadays? Dayum.

Why was Solange even on the stage?

Did anyone else think that Kelly's performance was whack as hell? And didn't it seem even worse after Beyonce went first with a big hot dance track like 'Get Me Bodied'? I still love Kelly and think she is beautiful... but, she gotta do better. I almost wish she lipsynced.

Don Cheadle's speech was 800 hours long. It was even long when I fast forwarded through it on tivo. No question... just felt like saying that.

And my final question...

How the hell do you win a best new artist award when you dont even have an album out? J Hud doesn't even know the answer to that one... lol

Stinky Gym People

I know its only March, but I am trying to get a jump on my abs this summer by hitting the gym hard now, so I dont have to kill myself in April when all the Johnny Come Lately's come and crowd the gym up trying to lose 50 pounds in a week.

Those of you who are my blog veterans (all three of you... including my brother...lol) you know that I have blogged about some annoying experiences at the gym. The elderly naked white men that love to walk around the locker room... the annoyingly-loud overly-amped gym rats who scream out their count of every rep, or every third line of the hip hop/rock song they are listening to... and the funky stinky sweaty foreign man who doesn't use deodorant or wipe off the machines when he's done with it.

Up until this point, all of my complaints have been with men. The women are always nice, polite and sweet. And they make the gym a prettier place. And my favorite thing is that they always smell good. When they pass, its always like a fresh wind in spring. And it counters the funk of the men.

So when this small petite woman stepped up on the treadmill beside me, I thought nothing of it... UNTIL the stench wafted in my nostrils. At first, I was like... what is that smell... something smells like PEE... and then I realized... IT WAS COMING FROM HER!!! And it was strong!

If I could just stand her stench for ten minutes, I would be fine. I couldnt let this stinky woman stand between me and my six pack this summer.

So my strategy was to stop breathing through my mouth, turn my head away to breathe less of her stench and to try not to scrunch my face the whole time. But then I noticed that when people walked by, they were scrunching their faces in the yukk face... THEN LOOKING AT ME!!! LIKE I WAS THE STINKY PEE POT!

I mean, it was logical since it was just her and I in the area of the stench. And her being the tiny petite pretty woman, she got the benefit of the doubt. Then my strategy went to pot. After holding my breath for a minute, I had to gasp for air, and got a mouth full of pissy air... and chocked and almost fell off the machine. That was when I decided to go back downstairs and finish elsewhere. I mean, I might have been able take the stench for a little while but I couldnt take being looked at like I smelled like pee when I know I smelled like Thierry Mugler's Angel Men... besides, I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Ilk.

So I left... finishing my work out downstairs. And I learned a valuable lesson.

STINKY GYM PEOPLE COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!

But never let that stand in the way of a work out... If you encounter unbearable funk, don't try to be a hero.

Just move.

(Stinky Pee Lady earned a beat down I.O.U. for not wiping herself completely after using the bathroom though... thats just nasty.)

Oscar Randomness

Yaaaaaaaaaaaye Jennifer Hudson!!! Her oscar speech was cool except for the toss off 'And Jennifer Holiday' afterthought thing... I mean, I am glad she recognized her, but it was clear that she forgot about her. Not a good look... but neither was her outfit. There is already a warrant out for her immediate arrest by the fashion police for her previous fashion disasters. This outfit put her on the most wanted list. Andre Leon Tally needs his azz beat for putting her in that mess... She woulda looked better in a bedazzled number by the House of Dereon ... lol

I had hoped that she would sing 'and I am telling you', but they didnt. Booooo! Why is she not singing this song live? Instead, they did a medley of Love You I do, Listen and Patience. Does Jennifer Hudson give you a little Aretha Franklin in her oversinging...? I still enjoyed the performance. I think Jennifer did well aside from occassional oversinging... Bey did good too, in her own way, (bless her heart... lol) As much as I believe she is talented, she needs not sing alongside anyone with Aretha like power. She gets drowned out a little. But I think she still did great. Jennifer has more power, but I do think Bey has better control. I look forward to seeing how experience performing will shape Jennifer...

And was it me, or did it seem like all of Anika Noni Rose's screaming at the end of patience was to say... HEY! LOOK AT ME! I CAN SING TOO!! WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEE?!? lol I love her in the movie... she is very talented, but she was wearing me out a little... in that Mary J Blige at the grammy's kinda way... lol

WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?

Speaking of a combination of great and whackness... Jennifer Holiday sang 'And I Am Telling You' outside the oscars... on some terrace across the street or something on E!... She sounded great. And she looked great too (aside from looking a little post stroke-ish, her hair and make-up were great). But, you have to admit... this was kinda bootleg. I mean, you were on someone's rooftop across the street. There were spectators closer to the oscars than she was. Thats not even B, C, or D list... that is like V-list when the closest you can get is across the street on a rooftop... And what made it worse was when they panned down to the red carpet and they were just-a-carryin'-on like business as usual, like Jennifer Holiday wailing on a rooftop across the street was regular street noise. Peeps werent even stopping to watch... lol Here is the performance... see for yourself. (And did anyone else peep that she is singing it in a lower key than normal... maybe its just my ears... but people who sing or know music know what I am talking about.)

OTHER RANDOM OSCAR QUESTIONS>>>

Isnt it interesting how UN-Miranda-Priestly Meryl Streep is in real life with that HUGE ugly klunky necklace that she probably got at a 'big hideous necklace convention'... lol

 
(Meryl Streep as the 'smart, fat, size 6 girl', Nicole Kidman as the 'Clacker'...lol)

Was it me or was the clip they showed of Eddie Murphy really the best 10 seconds of his acting in the film? I mean... dayum. That clip was whack. Of course he aint win... Did you see the look on Eddie's face after they showed the clip? It was even on HIS face, like... is that the best you can do?

Does everyone in Hollywood call Martin Scorscese, Marty? And don't 'Marty's' fluffy black eyebrows, white hair and tuxedo make him look a little like the Muppet, Statler (one of the old hecklers in the balcony)?

 

How the hell did Forest Whitaker get as far as he did with his wandering eye? Ummm... for real, I hate watching him in movies... I hate the way he speaks... I hate his wandering eye... I hate his black lips... I hate his black gums...  (oh wait, thats from Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood ... lol) I say all this to say... ilk. I dont want to hate on a brother winning lead actor... but... fukk it. I wanted Will to win. Get your dayum eye fixed or wear tinted shades like Musiq Soulchild. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(He should change his name to Forest Wandering-eye...)

Overall... the oscars were boring. I love Ellen. But I guess acting award shows arent going to be like music with explosions and people coming down from the ceiling... If there arent any black actors (with non-wandering eyes) nominated next year, I probably wont watch.

Thanks, Shanice

Taking a cue from my new visitor Shanice, I want to talk about overly devout fans. People who act like Benita Batrell when someone said anything about Miss Jenkins. You know... the people that want to cut you if you say anything bad about Janet, Madonna, Beyonce... or whomever the latest ghetto-fab entertainer of the week may be (Ciara, Ashanti, Lil Kim, etc. etc.)

Now I will be the first to confess, that I will defend an artist that I believe is talented. If any of you read Clay Cane's blog, you would know that he and I go back and forth about Beyonce's musical relevance and worth. But I am not threatening to cut him, or cuss him out. I dont KNOW Beyonce personally. I am just a random azz fan to her. I don't get a cut from her check. Nor do I receive free concert tickets. So I am NOT going to get into a fight over that bytch. Its never that deep.

WHY do people get so angry or wrapped up in shyt like that?

Once I wrote an article for our company's employee newsletter about Mary J. Blige. 'I am just Mary' had just come out. And I proceeded to say it was false humility. A truly humble person would not have to write a song about his/her humility. I further said, that, while she does get into her songs and sang with feeling, she wasn't a great singer. But then I added that despite that, Mary had worked hard in her career, marketed herself well, and overcome many obstacles. She used what she had to her advantage and came out on top. So for that, I gave her props and said that I respected her for hanging in there and accomplishing all that she had accomplished. I thought I had written a piece to encourage peeps who may have dreams but think that they lack stellar talent or skill. I thought that peeps could look at what I wrote and be like... hey, if Mary could make it, SO CAN I!

You think peeps interpreted it that way...? Hell... to the nah. I received the most VENOMOUS emails I have ever received... and this was AT WORK! Girls (...and a select few 'how you doin's')sayin' 'Fukk you' and 'Who do you think YOU are? You aint shyt' You would think that I had slapped someone's momma!

When the smoke cleared, a few people had almost lost their jobs for sending the vicious emails. And a few women NEVER spoke to me again at work. People that would smile and flirt in my face were suddenly walking right by me with an attitude like I stabbed their puppy in the eye or some shyt...

I just wanted to shake them really hard and scream at them... MARY J DONT KNOW YOU!!!! MARY J DONT GIVE A FUKK ABOUT YOU!!! YOU STUPID BYTCHES!! lol But instead, I just snickered and kept it moving. That delusional shyt is funny to me.

I think its ludicrous for people to take things so personally when they have nothing to do with them. Like people who say, "I like Eric Benet's cd, but I wont buy it because of what he did to Halle." What? HALLE DONT KNOW YOU MAAAAAAAAAAN! And Yo... her other husbands BEAT her. Eric cheated. Men, ESPECIALLY FAMOUS ENTERTAINERS, cheat every day. It's unfortunate for Halle, yes, but that aint got shyt to do with YOU!

Now with all that said, I am about to dig into the entertainer of the week with the knowledge that some of you may not like what I have to say... but... so the fukk what? Bring it mothafukkas! I ain't scurrrrred! lol

Keyshia Cole.

Yep, you know what I am about to say. Yes, I dug her cd for a minute but yo... what the fukk is up with her style? Does she fire her stylist and hire a new one every week? Why has this bytch changed her look 25 times since she put out her album this spring... I mean, its only been a few months, and this bytch has changed her look 33 times. (she changed it 8 more times since you read the first count...)

Its like she is on the run from the law, or in the witness protection program or something. Its CRAZY!

PICK A STYLE AND STICK WITH IT! Here is a gallery of her 8 million and 2 looks this year.

Here is a picture of her where I think she looks pretty. I hope that she has the good sense to stick with this look for a little while at least... otherwise, I may have to sick the BEAT DOWN I.O.U. patrol after her azz.