The Prodigal Sun

Another Writer's Strike...?

Since I am pursuing acting, I figured I would start watching all the acting award shows, even the boring ones like the Emmy's... so I can see who the good actors are, and what shows I should be watching to see people acting skillfully.

But the emmy's were soooo whack. Is there another writer's strike going on  that I haven't heard about or something? I mean, it was horrible. Between the skit with the reality game show hosts talking about 'nothing' for 12 minutes... to the Josh Groban medley of tv theme songs, it was a marathon of whackness...so I turned it and watched Kat Williams on Comedy Central. I have seen it a dozen times at least, but its still funnier than that Emmy's bullshyt, even with the bleep going off every third word...

In my random wanderings, I came across this commercial. It is the cutest commercial I have seen in a long time. Its the Mastercard Priceless commercial with the little boys doing the robot to 'We Want the Funk'... if you haven't seen it, check it out below... It just makes me smile when I see it.

Street Cred... on Central Park West?

Ok... so my new guilty pleasure is... Gossip Girl. I would say, 'no homo'... but... a grown azz man watching a show called 'Gossip Girl', kinda is... lol But its interesting and well written. It's like a Mean Girls TV show. I watch it... so what? I still have hair on my balls, so fukk ya'll! (lol)

Anyway, one of my favorite characters and actresses on the show is Leighton Meester. She is kinda the dark-haired bitch on the show. But that is not why I dig her. I dig her because she is so beautiful to me. She has such a pretty smile, and I am a sucker for dimples. She kinda has that Gabrielle Union glowing smile thing going... but... white.

So I am surfing random blogs today and I came across one that made me REALLY dig Miss Meester. (What kinda name is that by the way? It sounds like I am saying Ms. Mr. with a mexican accent... like it should be followed by... 'on a steeeeeeeek'... lol)

And while Miss Meester is playing a rich brat from Central Park West, in real life, she was BORN IN JAIL!!! No. Really. Well, her mom was allowed to live in a half-way house with her til she was 3 months old. But she was still technically a jailbird. And Leighton was raised by relatives while her mom served time in a Federal Prison for drug charges.

Now, I am not celebrating her parent's delinquency (her dad did time too...) I am just saying that I love the story of the come-up. I love when people can surmount their situation and accomplish something major against the odds. And I LOVE that this story is about a white person, and illustrates that black folks aren't the only ones with messed up backgrounds. This could be ANYONE's story. This could be anyone's success.

So any of you readers out there whose mamma was(is) a crackhead or daddy was (is) in jail... BE ENCOURAGED! You can be anything you want to be. Just go out there and DO IT!

Republicans invoke the ghost of Sand Man Sims... COMEDY!!!

The Republicans are messing up left and right. But I am glad cause I am tired of them, and want them to go away. First, I can't understand how a party that is based on traditional family values selects a woman who has a teenaged unwed pregnant daughter as their VP candidate... I don't get that. But their convention location just adds icing to the cake.

The democrats say that the Republican Convention was in the twin cities because it is a symbol of John Mccain being the same as George Bush since they voted alike 90% of the time... but... I think the real reason is for...

Gay Sex... lol

Did NO ONE in the ENTIRE Republican party realize that they were about to have their convention in the same city that one of its senators, Larry Craig, was busted for soliciting gay sex in the airport men's bathroom? Really? No. Really?

Well... I bet that bathroom was ROOOOOOCKIN the week of the convention. Walking by that airport men's room must have been like hearing the ghost of Sandman Sims, with all the foot-tapping going on in there...

Anyway... I was not the only person to see the coincidence of city choice... COMEDY CENTRAL did too... observe their skit below... its COOOOOOOOOOOMEDY!

Ciara... Butt Booty Nekkid... Literally

This October Cover of Vibe is a lot of things...

I am speechless...

Almost, anyway... you know I always got something to say. Ok... remember when there were rumors about Ciara being a dude? While I never thought she was a dude, now I am wondering if she is even a girl... maybe she is SEXLESS!

Where is her poom-poom? lol Like for real... I know Ciara grew a few curves since she has grown up some... but I don't remember Ciara's thighs and booty being that thick where it would hide her poom-poom in that position... And even the thickest of booties would reveal a poom-poom when the legs are pushed back that far... Is that photoshopped?

Ok... even with the anatomically ambiguous area... Is it me or is this cover still super erotic...? lol I mean, I never thought of Ciara 'that way' but I am kinda turned on looking at this... I never paid her much attention. First of all, because compared to me, she is like, 12. But second of all, I just was never pressed with her cause she is a twig. But this pic is kinda hot.

Ok... so I am a weirdo... lol But the whole punani mystery just makes you focus on her intimacies... and then you see the booty, and the smooth skin, and while its not seen, I KNOW the punani is there... and I kinda wanna see it now... lol

The secret is out. I am kind of a freak. But with her vagina-less Barbie Doll body, so is Ciara, so its a match made in heaven... LOL

UPDATE 9/7: Here is a video of Ciara discussing the Vibe cover. Basically, she just says, she is older now, more mature, and adventurous... so basically, 'The Goodies' that she was so earnestly protecting in her first album are no longer staying 'in the jar'... (In other words, she was always a ho... just wasn't old enough to express it before... lol) Just kidding... she is not a ho... just a vagina-less Barbie Doll... I stand by that one. lol

Usher's Ladies Night, Every Night...

Usher recently announced that he is planning an intimate 15-city, Ladies-Only Tour to promote his latest album, Here I Stand.

"There's only a few artists that can pull that off," he said. "I feel like I've had such a connection with my audience. This album, I felt like, was definitely the type of one that was more intimate. So what better way to get up close and personal than to make it all women?"

Usher says he wants to prove that he is a family man AND a sex symbol. By having this tour called 'One Night Stand'...?

*blank stare*

This is stupid on soooooo many levels.

He is smelling himself too much and his record sales DON'T justify it. He is living off of past glory.

And the women only thing was attempted already by Tank, Tyrese and Ginuine, and it BOMBED miserably. When your records are not selling like they used to, you need to collect EVERY dollar that people are willing to give to you, which includes men.

Then there are the logistics... how is he going to restrict it to women? Ticketmaster does not screen by sex, and even if they did... how could you prevent folks from lying?

What about the fellas who aren't even Usher fans but who would take their girls to see him?

This is stupid and career suicide if it goes wrong. Too risky. A failed album AND a failed tour when you are trying to make a 'come back' would turn this into a cautionary tale of how NOT to become a 'has-been'.

Usher is becoming whacker by the day. He needs his momma to step back in and handle the bidness cause he is a dumbass.

Even though I have never been interested in seeing Usher live... I hate being told I CAN'T do something... lol I still don't want to go... but its about the PRINCIPALITIES SMOKEY!!! lol

Life before cell phones...

How did we live before cell phones...? I recently had a HORRIBLE experience with a malfunctioning cell phone, and it made me wonder how people survived without them.

Wrote the story about it... wanna hear it... hear it goes...

Let me preface this story by saying that my nextel blackberry is GARBAGE! The latest issue is that it is dropping calls. EVERY call... and not only does it drop the call, the wireless function turns off so that I have to reboot the phone and reconnect to the network, and if I try to call again, the process repeats. Keep that in mind as you read further.

So Sunday, I get a cell phone call from a acquaintance about meeting up go to a movie. (For the purposes of this story, I will now refer to the acquaintance as Crazy to protect the ...crazy. You will understand by the end why I chose that name...) Anyway... I tell Crazy that I have to call back from my house phone because my cell phone is having issues. I call back, and we make arrangements to meet up in an hour in times square. I HATE times square, but... I am like, whatever. (note: this is when I mentioned my phone being fukked up...)

I get down there, and I call crazy to say I was there. And 20 seconds into the call, the call drops. I try to reboot the phone and now, it says that the battery, which was fully charged when I left home, was now almost dead, and that there was not enough juice left to connect to the network. So I am basically trying to find someone in Times Square with no phone. (did I mention that I HATE Times Square?)

So it's Labor Day weekend, and there are millions of people in Times Square... they probably all have cell phones. Do you think ANY of them were going to stop and let a tall black man with locks use their cell? Hell to the no. But I tried anyway. After wandering aimlessly asking everyone to use their cell looking like a begging homeless person, I figured, let me go find change and use a payphone.

I haven't used a payphone in so long that I dont know how to use it. And it ate a dollars-worth of change. I finally gave up and tried one nice looking old black lady and she had mercy on me. I used her phone to call crazy and tell crazy that I was now at 40th and 7th, one block down from where my cell died. Crazy proceeded to bite my head off about going the wrong direction. "Why did you go that direction? Why are you going in the opposite direction I am?" And was CLEARLY annoyed. RED FLAG! First of all, I had no idea where Crazy was so how could I know it was the 'wrong direction', and second, it was ONLY a block. So I bit my tongue, reiterated the issue with the phone and peaced it out and arranged to meet in the theater two blocks away.

I rush over the two blocks AND CRAZY IS NOT IN THE LOBBY ANYMORE! Huh? RED FLAG #2! So I am like... ok... maybe Crazy went upstairs already since they were already buying the ticket when I called last. So I buy the ticket and go up to the 8 oclock showing like Crazy said. I get in there at 730... no Crazy. So I go back downstairs and borrow a theater employees phone and Crazy does not answer. RED FLAG #3 I am like huh? Its 730... the movie has not started yet... why am I getting voicemail? So... I figure maybe I am in the wrong movie, so I leave a message about where I am, and go back into the theater and wait... and wait... and NOTHING. So I sit through this RIDICULOUS Vin Diesel movie called Babylon AD (it was horrible... ugh.) and when I am done, I figure, I got the wrong theater and the movie Crazy has seen must be over by now. Let me try to connect now. (I am a glutton for punishment... )

I go downstairs and borrow another theater employees phone, I call Crazy and I get cussed the hell out. I was told that I was playing games and all this other drama. And I am standing there with the theater employee staring in my mouth and I am not about to get into an argument with someone I don't really know that well in this lobby using someone else's phone. So I just say good night, and call it a day, and go home.

So when I get home and plug my phone in, I get all of these text messages that Crazy had been sending me all night. And Crazy was getting more and more angry each message. Apparently there were 2 8 oclock showings and Crazy was in the other one... By the last message, it was like 'AND DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!'

Really?

WHY WOULD YOU CONTINUE TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT MY PHONE WAS NOT WORKING!!!

One of the messages said that Crazy was waiting on the street in front of the Regal Theater. The theater is on 42nd st in Times Square.

WHY WOULD YOU WAIT ON THE STREET WITH A MILLION OTHER PEOPLE DURING LABOR DAY WEEKEND, WHEN YOU COULD HAVE WAITED IN THE LOBBY WHERE I CALLED YOU AND WHERE THERE WERE ONLY 10 PEOPLE?!?

AND WHY DIDNT YOU ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALLED A HALF HOUR BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTED?!

After I listened to the messages... apparently it was more plausible to Crazy that I concocked this whole scenario to play a mind trick. That I never showed up but was just calling from other people's phones all night for my own sick pleasure...

See? Crazy.

Anyway, this all could have been avoided if I had a working cell phone (or if Crazy as sane...) but that got me wondering, what did we do before cell phones.  How did people function without them?

Cell phones are so interwoven into our culture and daily life that I can't imagine life without it... And now,  apparently, cell phone are such a necessity that malfunctions can send people into psychosis... and paranoid delusions....

Can you imagine your life without your cell? Me either... but I want one that works. So I plan to get an iphone... and to stay away from Crazy people.

Nextel sucks.

Youtube randomness making my day

Clients are getting on my nerves today. So I am taking time off from working to randomly surf the web and tv to cool off cause I have been cussing people out all day.

I missed Barrack's speech tonight because of rehearsal and I FORGOT TO TIVO IT! And the new director is changing all the staging so I have to basically learn all new stuff a month out from the show. Today has been WHACK!

So... here are some clips I saw today that made my smile. First is JHud singing the national anthem at the DNC. Jennifer is here to stay as a vocal powerhouse performer. She sang the hell out of that song, without oversinging. She didn't ghetto-ify it with a million runs... She didn't hoot and holla all around the stage. She just sang the hell out of the anthem with a key change and some high notes and its one of the best versions of the national anthem I have ever heard. Loved it.

And this other clip is of Jesse Mcartney... Random... yes. I know. I am not a Jesse Mcartney fan or anything,(no. really. I'm not.) but I was surfing someone elses blogs, and they had the clip up and what made me stop and watch it was that he was singing T-pain's 'Buy you a drink'... teeny pop Jesse McCartney singing a T-Pain song? lol I had to see it to see what he would do with it. Pretty much, he did the song without a vocalizer effect cause his voice is naturally that high and nasal-ey but honestly, he didn't do a bad job. It actually sounds ok when you listen to it. But when you open your eyes and see bubble gum pop teeny bopper singing about being 'in the bed like... uh, uh, uh...' I had to bust out laughing... lol But it is always interesting to see the ripples caused by Black culture reflected in the 'mainstream'...

And as you know... I am loving Solange. Not just cause I dig her album... but I am digging her personality too... I ABSOLUTELY LOVE that Solange does not give a fuuuuuuuck... lol If you haven't heard her album, she actually has a song on it called Fuck the Industry, in which she speaks on how the entertainment industry is slow to reward individuality. But that is not even what I am talking about today. She was on the Early show and basically cussed out one of the producers in her first few seconds on air. Apparently, right before she went on, some producer says thru the earpiece to ask Solange about JZ's club closing, after they convinced her that she was to come on the show to discuss only her album. So she starts off the interview checking dude... even though the audience doesn't hear him, and it was said off air... but guess what? SOLANGE DOESN'T GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! FUCK YA'LL BYTCHES! I AM GON'BE SOLANGE! lol The confusion on the interviewers face is priceless... she is like... umm... huh? lol But I give her credit cause she recovers quickly and gets the interview back on track.

Here is the clip:

Here is Solange explaining the clip... but standing by it at the same time... FUCK YA'LL BYTCHES! "LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME ALONE!" (that is an actual quote... lol) I AM MOTHAFUKKIN SOLAAAAAAANGE! lol too funny.

Ok.... I feel much better. *sigh*

Entertainment drama...

Hey everyone...

I know its been eons since I have sat down to blog... but I just haven't felt motivated to write.

But another reason I havent been blogging much is because I have landed a lead role in an off-off broadway gospel theater production that is going up in September and October.

I have been in rehearsals for a couple months now, but I never mentioned it before this because, until now, I wasn't really feeling this production. It was kinda whack... The writer/producer is a new young writer, and kinda amateur-ish in how business is handled. The director was a nice guy, but kinda crazy... like need therapy or short hospital stay kinda crazy... and the stagemanager was sexually harrassing the women.

In addition to all that drama, the director was not good. He let us make up our own staging, and then edited what we did. In other words, he didnt direct us. It may seem cool at first since you have almost total freedom, but when you consider that there are 6 people on stage and everyone has their own idea of how the scene should go, and each wants to make their character stand out and shine... and it becomes total chaos.

I felt like I didn't know what the hell I was doing. The scenes looked random... it was so whack that I didn't even want my fam to come see it. Basically, I was only doing it to get some practice at my acting skills. And if something better came up, I would have taken it. Since I am just starting to professionally act, I need to get my practice where I can.

The initial drama came to a head when the director told us that he had considered suicide the week before... And that was the last straw, and the producer/writer of the show fired him... (a week after he fired the stage manager for following one of the actresses home...)

And that is when I learned what a difference a good director makes... Our new director was PHENOMENAL! The show looked great, I loved way the show was going and now I am ready to invite the world, and even agents to come and checking out my acting chops.

But... the drama doesn't stop. The writer/producer starts ego tripping and wanting to tell the new director how to do her job, she cussed him out, and he fired her. The young director/writer who is producing his third production, was telling a 30 year theater veteran that her scenes weren't theatrical enough... that she wasn't handling the actors right... blah blah blah... and now... we are back at square one.

I am so worn out, and drained from this whole thing... but I have invested so much time and energy into this that I dont want to pull out now. But I DONT want to go on stage and look whack in front of my fam and friends.

We have a new-new director... a month out from the opening... and I am really trying to hang on cause despite his inexperiene, the young writer/director means well.  And the cast is all made up of all people trying to break into show bizness... so leaving at this point would fukk everyone over.

I just have a month left. And if this new director is good and the show continues where the last one left off... I will tell you guys so you can come see it. If not... you won't hear a dayum thing about it... lol

Entertainment is DRAMA... both on and off the stage and screen... I guess I am paying my dues.

Anyway... since it has been forever since I have blogged, I will mention other randomness...

I LOVE... LOVE LOVE LUH-HUH-HOVE... the Tide Talking Stain commercial... It's one of the funniest commercials ever. When the stain starts screaming in the end, I laugh hysterically every time I see it... If you havent seen it... check it below. TOO FUNNY!

Also, I am loving Solange. I was hearing leaked tracks over the last year and was telling folks that they are sleeping on Solange, but no one wanted pay me any mind... But now she is coming up, and peeps are jumping on the bandwagon... She will make it out of Beyonce's shadow yet... just watch.

In other randomnes... I truly feel that this whole retro 80's crap is out of hand... I HAVE SEEN FIVE PEOPLE UNDER THE AGE OF 30 WITH JHERI CURLS!!!

Who knew that they still make Jheri Curl Products?!?  In 1984, 5 people with Jheri Curls may not seem like a lot, given the millions of people living in New York. But in 2008... that is a ridiculously large number! Where the hell are they buying the relaxer? Where do they buy the activator? What hairdresser even offers such services? Are they doing it themselves? So many questions... I am so confused. I just truly hope that does NOT catch on. In 1984... Jheri Curl was the bomb. In 2008... not so much. Boo.

SEKSHUL CHOKLATE!!! He sing so lovely don't you think?

Who would want to go back to this? ugh.

Brokeness helping me discover my inner azzhole

Being a struggling actor/entrepreneur is not easy. Unlike with a corporate job, where you may be broke til next Thursday, you could be broke all month if no work comes in. So in an effort to be more fiscally responsible, I have had to pull back on a few things that some might think of as luxuries...

Some of them are easier to give up than others... Last month, I cut off my premium channels package. Basically, I had all the pay tv channels. That was tough because I tend to watch a lot of movies, but not a lot of network tv... but I dealt with it. I discovered a new love for the Sci Fi channel and TV-1, so I am good.

This month... I gave up the hardest of all my 'luxuries'... my laundry service. ARRRRRRGGGH!!! I know of ya'll are like, 'nigga, please!' But for real... I haven't washed my own laundry in the last two years. I like dropping it off dirty and coming back to pick up nice neatly folded downy fresh clothes. My whites are super white, my colors are popping... everything is soft and smells like a summer breeze. When I do it... I often fukk something up... whites come out pink or blue... or whites are clean smelling but still dirty looking... my darks fade... shirts shrink... I am just not good at it.

But today, I actually lugged my 6 loads of laundry down 6 flights of steps to the complex laundromat. But I didn't know that the machine to put money on the card did not accept credit or debit cards, only cash. So I looked around and saw 5 triple load machines and 3 regular ones all empty. There was only one African lady in there filling her first machine. If I ran to the cornerstore atm, I could be back before anyone else came and used up all the machines.

So I run to the store and when I come back, the laundromat was empty but there were only two little machines left. I was upset, but I was even more angry because NONE of the machines were running. That African heffer took and put her clothes into all the open machines and then left to get money, detergent and a snack.

I just squeezed 3 loads into the remaining two washers but I was SOOOOO heated. She was gone for a good 15-20 minutes. My clothes could have been halfway done. When she walked in, I am sure she could feel the heat searing from my eyes. But she ignored me and finally started her machines.

As luck would have it... MY CLOTHES FINISHED FIRST... *evil sinister laugh*... First I loaded the rest of my dirty clothes in the two washers... then I took my 3 loads of wet clean clothes and filled up ALL 5 dryers... lol When her clothes finished, she walks over, sees that I have taken ALL of the dryers and looks at me, and I igged her laser beam looks, and she had to sit there watching my clothes dry for half hour just like I had to watch her clothes sitting in the washing machines.

Then... my second load of clothes in the washers finished before my clothes in the dryers... so technically, I could have made her wait another half hour by filling up all the machines again... but instead, being the bleeding heart that I can be, I decided to put all my remaining clothes in two dryers and to give her three of them... I can be trifling and petty, but I am not a total azzhole.

I figured... I got her back, it felt good... but didn't want to attract any unnecessary negative karma to myself, giving her the three dryers was a good deed and balanced my initial triflingness... lol (Well, that is what I have convinced myself of anyway.)

Not including detergents, I spent $7.50 on laundry that would have cost me nearly $40 at the service. But looking at my dingy looking whites after I did my own laundry for the first time in two years... I have to say that the minute my financial situation stabilizes, that is the first 'luxury' that comes back...

Happy February 14th

Happy Pagan holiday that makes people in relationships do what they should be doing daily, and those not in relationships feel like losers... lol

Ok... maybe I am bitter... lol I just think that Valentines day is stupid, whether I am in or outside of a relationship. If I am in a relationship, I have to spend money on stupid shyt just for that day, when really, I am not the type person that doesn't show my affection on the regular. So feeling forced to do it on this particular day is stupid to me.

Then when I am not in a relationship, people ask you incessantly what you are doing for Valentine's day and if you tell them nothing, they look at you like a puppy with a broken leg... like... oh you poor loser, you dont have anyone you can call? Not even on the day of Love?

When the fact is, there are plenty of people I can call... But that leads to my other issue. You can't call up random people to spend Valentines day with because spending this particular day with someone implies that you are digging this person in a special way. And I just dont want to send any false signals to folks I am not feeling like that.

If Christmas is the time when most the suicides occur... I wonder how Valentine's Day ranks on the suicide frequency scale... Yes, its a little humorous, but for real... the same reasons someone would kill themselves at Christmas time would be the same reasons to do it for Valentines Day... loneliness, lack of special people to share it with... all the same things that would depress someone for being alone on xmas, work for Valentines day too...

I am going to have to look into that.

Anyway, enjoy your February 14th, not because of false love hoopla, but because its the 14th day of Black History Month... and four days after the celebration of my birthday! (Yaaaye ME!)