The Prodigal Sun

Street Cred... on Central Park West?

Ok... so my new guilty pleasure is... Gossip Girl. I would say, 'no homo'... but... a grown azz man watching a show called 'Gossip Girl', kinda is... lol But its interesting and well written. It's like a Mean Girls TV show. I watch it... so what? I still have hair on my balls, so fukk ya'll! (lol)

Anyway, one of my favorite characters and actresses on the show is Leighton Meester. She is kinda the dark-haired bitch on the show. But that is not why I dig her. I dig her because she is so beautiful to me. She has such a pretty smile, and I am a sucker for dimples. She kinda has that Gabrielle Union glowing smile thing going... but... white.

So I am surfing random blogs today and I came across one that made me REALLY dig Miss Meester. (What kinda name is that by the way? It sounds like I am saying Ms. Mr. with a mexican accent... like it should be followed by... 'on a steeeeeeeek'... lol)

And while Miss Meester is playing a rich brat from Central Park West, in real life, she was BORN IN JAIL!!! No. Really. Well, her mom was allowed to live in a half-way house with her til she was 3 months old. But she was still technically a jailbird. And Leighton was raised by relatives while her mom served time in a Federal Prison for drug charges.

Now, I am not celebrating her parent's delinquency (her dad did time too...) I am just saying that I love the story of the come-up. I love when people can surmount their situation and accomplish something major against the odds. And I LOVE that this story is about a white person, and illustrates that black folks aren't the only ones with messed up backgrounds. This could be ANYONE's story. This could be anyone's success.

So any of you readers out there whose mamma was(is) a crackhead or daddy was (is) in jail... BE ENCOURAGED! You can be anything you want to be. Just go out there and DO IT!

Republicans invoke the ghost of Sand Man Sims... COMEDY!!!

The Republicans are messing up left and right. But I am glad cause I am tired of them, and want them to go away. First, I can't understand how a party that is based on traditional family values selects a woman who has a teenaged unwed pregnant daughter as their VP candidate... I don't get that. But their convention location just adds icing to the cake.

The democrats say that the Republican Convention was in the twin cities because it is a symbol of John Mccain being the same as George Bush since they voted alike 90% of the time... but... I think the real reason is for...

Gay Sex... lol

Did NO ONE in the ENTIRE Republican party realize that they were about to have their convention in the same city that one of its senators, Larry Craig, was busted for soliciting gay sex in the airport men's bathroom? Really? No. Really?

Well... I bet that bathroom was ROOOOOOCKIN the week of the convention. Walking by that airport men's room must have been like hearing the ghost of Sandman Sims, with all the foot-tapping going on in there...

Anyway... I was not the only person to see the coincidence of city choice... COMEDY CENTRAL did too... observe their skit below... its COOOOOOOOOOOMEDY!

Bow wow is on top...

Or should I say 'the top' in his relationship... lol Aight, I clowned about Omarion and Bow wow being kinda Baby and Lil' Wayne-esque in previous posts... but I just saw a clip on my homegirl's blog 'theybf.com' where Bow wow defends Omarion's honor. It was already a funny clip because Toure' is asking Omarion stupid questions like, 'do you steal moves from Chris Brown? He's dope.' Or when he asked him about doing the 'Naked' video when it was clearly Marques Houston. But what really made me giggle was when Bow wow flipped the fukk out and was shouting for Toure to step to him as he hid behind his two bodyguards... like... HOLD ME BACK!! HOLD ME BACK!!! lolololololol THAT SHYT WAS COOOOOOMEDY! lol

My homegirl C-Murder defends them to the hilt. So I am trying to give the benefit of the doubt despite the pictures below of 'O' looking more like 'OH DIANE!' or Noah from 'Noah's Arc' between the hair and that neck scarf... But Bow wow getting all bent out of shape for Omarion's honor was just too excessive, and Omarion's just following behind like the obediant girlfriend is not making me believe in their platonic relationship.  I have heard of having your boy'z back, but most str8 dudes would be like ' You gon' let him clown you like that?' and let the dude man up for himself. They don't make them look like a damsel in distress... or maybe Omarion is gay, and bow wow is straight, but knows about Omarion, and is mad protective of his gay homey... which might have been plausible IF he didnt run and hide behind his two bodyguards and act like they were holding him back like a punk. After that bullshyt he lost all thug points, if you can indeed have any when you are only 4 ft negative 2, and weigh 85 pounds.

It doesn't matter either way. And sincerely I dont really care. I am just clowning ... but if either of them show up with a tattoo of the other... I am going to start sending them china pattern suggestions.

If you would like to see the video for yourself... check it out below.

Greetings from Plus One Land

I must say that I have been very fortunate to know a few industry folks (just a few) that can get me into cool events.

On Saturday, my homeboy brought me along to a cool Thurgood Marshall Scholarship fundraising event and was seated right behind Farnsworth Bentley and his wife (*sidenote* yes, his wife?!? lol He is married to actress Faune Chambers, the suspicious girlfriend in the Wayans brothers movie, White Chicks. I know, I thought he was gay too. Not that you can't be gay and have a wife too, and but since I have never seen him fellating anyone, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. But I will say that prancing around in a video with a great big pink and green sorority umbrella and allowing yourself to be referred to as another grown azz man's 'man-servant' IS as close to sucking a dick as you can get without actually doing it... lol *but I digress*)

While I was there I also met barrier breaking black model Beverly Johnson, who doesnt look a day over 28... I kid you not. That heffa is my momma's age and she looks like she is younger than me! I mean, yeah, black don't crack, but that shyt was ridiculous. (I think she is a vampire. No. Really.) I was a little awestruck at first but I kept my cool. She was very sweet and gracious taking pictures with fans. Unfortunately, I lost my camera a couple weeks ago, so I wasnt one of them.

Then last week I was in LA with one of my other homeboys where  I met Laurenz Tate (He is super tiny in person, and looks young enough to be carded... lol Does ANYONE in hollywood age? lol) And Hosea Chanchez (Malik from the show 'The Game' on CW) and a few other folks.

The week prior to that, I was hanging with another of my friends at a Tavis Smiley event and met Judith Jameson, Terry McMillan, Ruby Dee, Iyanla Vanzant and a few other folks...

And while this sounds all fabulous and grand... its sooooooo nothing to brag about. If you notice, preceding every grand story, I say, someone BROUGHT me along. I was only the PLUS ONE at all of these events. Plus One land doesn't totally suck... you get the open bars at most of these events. And once you are inside and have your own VIP bracelet, you are just as VIP as anyone else.  And while its great to get to go to some of these functions and meet peeps you admire... WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER to actually be invited? Can I please step up to a velvet rope and say MY OWN name and have THAT checked off for a change?

I am soooooo tired of being the 'and guest'. First of all, most of the time, peeps who get invited to these things first think to invite other 'regulars', or people they normally hang out with at these things. It's only if those peeps already have an invite themselves (usually the case) or if those peeps can't make it for some reason that they go to the b-list of folks who wouldn't have their own invites. Thats my category, so by the time I get the invites... its last minute. I literally got a call about a Playboy industries party FROM THE PARTY a couple weeks ago. My boy called me up like... 'yo, this shyt is hot! I am hanging out with Megan Goode. You should come', as if I was sitting at home dressed waiting for a call to just run out and party.

Shyt like that drives me crazy. But... you know my black azz showered shaved, picked out gear, ironed and got from the high 140's to lower manhattan in under 40 minutes... lol WHY? Because until I network enough to make a name for myself or land a good gig, I gotta do what I gotta do to make it out of PLUS ONE land.

So until I get my own star on the walk of fame... my black azz will have outfits on standby, and my electric shaver plugged in my bathroom. The life of the plus one is being in the army reserve, you never know when you will be called to action, but you must always be ready.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye...

What the hell is wrong with Kanye West? Did you guys see his tirade backstage after he lost? If not, check it out below.

Kanye is the worst loser I have ever known in my entire life. I mean, dayum, you lost. Get over it. You are an international celebrity. You have sold millions of albums. So the fukk what if you dont win a 'moonman'?

I am certain that Kanye was the kid in his hood who was forever screaming 'Do Over! Do Over! I wasn't ready...' or 'That's not fair, he cheated' or anything else you can think of to represent the sore loser who had an excuse for everything that didnt go his way. He was that little kid in the grocery store that was throwing himself on the floor because his mom wouldnt buy him a candybar that we all wanted to STOMP right there on the floor, then smack him again to 'give him something to cry about.'

Ya'll know I was never really a fan of Kanye and his mouth and his opinions about everything (see this post) But just when I start to appreciate Kanye's 'say whatever the fukk he wants' nature, he flips out and reminds me of why I want him to SHUT THE FUKK UP!

For being a sore azz loser and sounding like he is getting ready to cry cause he lost a stupid MTV award, Kanye has earned yet another BEAT DOWN I.O.U. Cause he needs his azz beat for that bullshyt. Man up and deal with it. I want to slap him AND his momma... cause she ain't raise him right! lol

VMA random questions...

Were you as unimpressed with Britney's 'Comeback Performance' as I was?

Aside from Britney's crazy behavior of late, I actually used to like Britney. 'Slave for you' was the shyt. The video, her associated performances, I loved it all. We all know she is not a good singer, and her saving grace was her great performance ability. This time... not so much. In the first few minutes, she stumbled twice like it was her first time dancing in heels. And on top of the whack performance... she looked a little... soft. Not that she had to be Nicole Richie skinny, cause the world does NOT need another anorexic white girl. But if you are gonna prance around half naked, work it out hard before hand, or cover it up. She wasn't dancing hard at all... And the song was BLAAAH! What do you get when you take an artist that is known for performance and good singles, and remove the performance and good single? This train wreck from the trailer park. Boo.

Did you think Sarah Silverman's ranking on Britney was a little fukked up too?

I may have been unimpressed with Brit's performance, but I still feel for her. She has lost her dayum mind, is about to lose her kids... AND she got a bad weave before her comeback performance. What else can go wrong? And right after her comeback performance, you clown her like that? Just seems a bit foul.

Despite the foul nature of it all... did you find yourself trying hard not to laugh, but laughing out loud anyway?

I didnt want to laugh, but Sarah Silverman is funny, in that mean, comedy roast kinda way... when she said, "Britney's babies are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of", I fell the fukk out... Heeeeeeee-larious!!! lol

Did anyone else get a 'how you doin' vibe when Timbaland randomly went on stage with Justin for the Male Artist of the Year award and presented it to him?

See? Now that is how rumors get started. LOL Not to say that I believe they are gay. In fact, I never even considered that until that very moment. But then I realized that I have not seen the two of them apart in the last year. Thats a little Baby and Lil Wayne-ish. Don't you think? Maybe they are just BFF's... but the awkwardness of the moment seemed like Timbaland not only liked Justin but, like-liked him.

Did Chris Brown's untucked shirt bother you as much as it did me?

Now, I know know that tucking in your shirt may not be a popular trend for dudes his age, but that sloppy look does not work with tux vests, suspenders and fedora hats. I realize that it came out cause of the performance, but do they test out outfits before performances? Couldn't they pin the shirt tails in or something, or make a one-piece type costume?  I thought his performance was great, but he looked like a slob to me the whole time. boo.

Do you love Alicia Keys and her look as much as I do?

Alica has been killing it styling-wise for a minute now and the VMA's were no exception. She rocked a polished look early in the show, and later, she wore that black tight get up OUT! She looked absolutely beautiful. It even made me like that random azz song a little more.

Were some of the results random as hell in your opinion too?

Justin Timberlake best quadruple threat over Beyonce or Jay-Z?
Gym Class Heroes best new artist over Amy Winehouse? Ok, she may be a crackhead or alcoholic, but her album was the shyt.

Is it me or did Dr. Dre Blow the hell up?

What the fukk is he taking? Creatine? Protein? Steroids? I mean, dayum... He looked SWOLE AS HELL! I need to get on his work out program.  He was diesel but  not overly diesel  like Timbaland. Timbaland only looks diez in  tank tops. In anything more, he looks fat. I dont care what yall say. lol

Is it crazy to you too that Kanye and Fiddy can stand on the stage together without violence after all that bullshyt Fiddy is talking, but Kid Rock and Tommy Lee can't walk past each other without duking it out?

Apparently, Kid Rock was leaving the stage, and KERPLOW!!! Tommy Lee cracked him in the face with his DICK! FROM ACROSS THE ROOM! LOLOLOL Ok... no, he just punched him in the face, but wouldn't that have been funny as hell though? lol Weren't you glad it was too WHITE guys fighting? I know I wasn't the only one. lol Don't you wish you coulda seen it? White guy fights are funny. Brothers try to box and shyt. White guy fights are all over the place like gay/girl fights minus the windmill move (sometimes with the windmill move... lol).

WHITE ON WHITE VIOLENCE HAS GOT TO END!!! LOL

Anyway... if you have any answers for me... feel free to share.

We all look alike...

Most of the time, the 'we all look alike' thing doesn't apply. I am told that I 'look just like' different people every other day. And when I meet them or see who they are talking about, its usually another black man with locks who looks absolutely nothing like me other than the two attributes previously mentioned.

Now if this kinda thing happens with totally unrelated black folk, imagine how bad it must be with siblings. If you had a famous celebrity sibling, would you milk that situation? Hell yeah... lol Who wouldn't want the celeb treatment and free shyt that celebs get all the time?

Well Akon's brothers are doing just that. In Akon's own words, “They are going around getting VIP treatment, girls, free food at restaurants, free everything and everybody is falling for it.” It's gotten so out of hand that Akon decided to capitalize on it and created a reality show that will follow his brothers around as they pretend to be him.

Would you watch the show? I am not really interested. I dont like Akon, so I REALLY dont want to watch his brothers. But who knows, while I hate most of Akon's music, he could be really funny to watch... It might also be interesting to see how far his brothers take it. I mean, the one on the right really looks a lot like him. And they each have bling and enough knowledge about Akon to pull it off... so, again, who knows? I would have to tune in the first episode to see if its worth continuing.

On the other hand, I think its a dumb move for Akon. If the show really takes off, and people really watch it, wont folks become hip to it? And then, to take it a step further, how fukked up would it be if he gets turned away because people begin to think that he is one of his brothers impersonating HIMSELF?

So You Think You Can Dance...

While I believe I can dance, I would not consider myself a 'dancer' after watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' this season. Have any of you been watching? I started watching it mid-season and I have been hooked ever since. Now they are down to the last 6 and we find out which two are going home Monday night, and which four are going on to the finale.

I have to say that my two favorites are Sabra and Danny.

Sabra is FLAWLESS! I have yet to see the judges say one negative thing about any routine she has done on the show. She has done every genre, and executed each perfectly. Her technique, her passion, and personality... I just LOVE her and her afro.

Danny, Danny, Danny... this dude dances like an Ailey dancer. He is absolutely beautiful to watch. His leaps are sky high, his lines are phenomenal, and he spins like a top. He is so fluid in his movements, its like liquid art in motion. As a dancer, he is the best on the show, and my personal favorite, hands down.

I really think that Sabra has an excellent chance to take it. Not only is she a fantastic dancer, but she is infectious and these shows are sometimes more about personality and winning over an audience than pure talent. This is evident in the fact that Danny ended up in the bottom over and over despite his spectacular performances because he was a little stiff personality-wise. But, now that he has started to let his emotions and silly sides show more, its anyone's game.

Needless to say, I will be tuned in to see who gets booted, then again to see the finale.

Who are you guys rooting for?

Lauryn's not so crazy train...

I went to see Lauryn Hill on Monday at a free concert in Brooklyn, along with 10,000 other fans. And I am really happy to say that Lauryn wasn't that crazy. Well... aside from the orange afro wig, the way too heavy exaggerated make-up and her wearing a leather fringe jacket in blistering humid summer heat... she seemed pretty sane.

The show got off to a rocky start. It started late. Then I had to endure Sean Kingston, who looks like a young Biggie Smalls with a Jamaican accent and corny songs. He did like 5 cover of songs while he ran around shouting Brooklyn to try to get the crowd hyped, then 3 of his own cornball sing-songy crap songs. Boooo!

Then after he left the stage, they announced that Lauryn still wasn't even there. Not a good look when you have 10,000 hot black people crowded on a field standing for hours waiting for her. Maybe a half hour later, they announce that she was there, and the band set up.

Literally, the band jammed without Lauryn for a good 20-25 minutes. And I swear we were about to start a RIOT if she didnt come on stage soon...

But when she finally came on stage, it was all love. The crowd lost it, myself included. I know she is a bit crazy sometimes, but I still love that crazy bytch. She started off doing stuff we had no clue about. The first few songs were uptempo and unrecognized by the audience. And literally, people were walking out in masses. But when she got to the familiar stuff... again, it was all love again.

I left early because my back hurt from standing up so long. (I didnt get there 12 hours before so I wasn't lucky enough to get a seat... I was stuck in the waaaaaay back of the field.) But I heard her second set rocked even better.

I am glad that Lauryn came and represented. I am glad she wasn't acting crazy. She overall seemed to be the old Lauryn, aside from the crazy outfit and the tardiness. Maybe there is hope for her sanity coming back after all.

Anyway, here are a few bad video clips from the concert. I apologize in advance. I need a new digital camera. Its 3 years old, and it basically sucks. Plus in one of the videos, a security guard was harrassing me about having a camera so the video gets jumpy as I argue with him.

Anyway, enjoy.

I see Middle Eastern people...

I was riding the subway the other day. One of my fav activities... (who am I kidding, I hate the subway...) In an effort to avoid staring people in the face or competing in a staring match with those who blatantly stare at you, I read everything around me. Well, I was doing that when I looked at the New York City Subway map and saw a man staring back at me!

Look at the NYC subway map below...

At the risk of sounding like one of those crazy people that say they see statues crying or bleeding... I have to ask... Is it me? Or can you see the profile of a middle eastern man's face in this map? For real... the island of Manhattan is the nose, kind of long with a hump like every middle eastern disney character ever drawn. Immediately behind the nose, the river forms his kind of bulging eye. Below the nose, you can see his lips... And where the water is at the bottom of the map looks like a beard, like many muslim men wear, just a beard with their mustache shaved off. What do you think? Am I crazy? Too much time on my hands?

Well here is the the same map, but with some lines I drew in around the waterways to illustrate what I see...

Isn't that weird? I am not saying it means anything or that its Osama Bin Laden or anything like that. It could also be just any man's side profile... but it sounds so much more DRAMATIC if I say its a Middle Eastern man though... dont you think?

Anyway, just bored today, and felt like sharing... Hope you all had a great weekend. Happy Monday!